Will and Guy's Football Home

Will and Guy's Football Home

In this section we feature football jokes, quotes and strange but true stories.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length.  It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

Soccer OriginWill and Guy's Football stories and jokes

The word soccer is derived from an abbreviation of association as in - Association Football.  In 1890 it was spelt variously as socca and socker.   One day Charles Wreford-Brown was leaving his digs, dressed in sporting togs, when his friend enquired ' where are you off?' I'm off to play football' Charles said. 

'Association or Rugger' the friend asked. 'Why Soccer of course' , said Charles Wreford-Brown as jogged off to the game.

Bear in mind that in this era upper class sportsman had a fad of adding 'er' to everything.  Rugby became rugger and socca became soccer.  Incidentally, my favourite example of this patois is Pragger Wagger, a slang word for the Prince of Wales (Later Edward VII).

Here are examples from our football pages

Players Quotes

  • ' I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 9 of which were disputable. ' Paul Gascoigne

  • 'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel. ' Stuart Pearce

  • ' I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona. ' Mark Draper

  • ' If you don't concede any goals you' ll win more games than you lose. ' Wayne Bridge

  • ' I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body' (Winston Bennett)

  • See more players Quotes


Footballer's Nicknames

Franz Beckenbauer = The Kaiser (Led West Germany and Bayern Munich to many triumphs. A skilful and thoughtful player)

Stuart Pearce = Psycho (Would run through a brick wall for his team) 
See more nicknames

Commentary to look out for:

  • ' He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces' - Ron Atkinson
  • When Ian Rush transferred from Chester to Liverpool he said, 'It was like moving to a foreign country' .  People only took notice of Ian's views when he said a similar thing after he moved from Liverpool to Juventus. 'I could not settle, it was like being in a foreign country' .
  • ' Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds - totally against the run of play' (Peter Lorenzo)
  • ' What will you do when you leave football, Jack - will you stay in football?' STUART HALL, Radio 5 Live

If you like this page then please share it with your friends


See more Football stories and jokes:

2014 World Cup jokes   • Footballer nicknames   • Football bloopers   • Funny footballer quotes

Funny jokes about football   • Football jokes   • Funny football pictures   • Funny football stories

Funny World Cup stories   • Football 4 women   • Funny Super Bowl jokes   • Funny football photos