Funny Reptile Stories, Jokes and Pictures
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Why I Was Late for Work
Tracking Your Tortoise:
Jane Willimas was so fed up with looking for her tortoises that she has fitted them with a tracker device. Jane fixed the tracker device to their shells with a removable sticky pad.
Grumpy Henry Becomes a Dad at Age 111
A reptile in New Zealand has become the proud father of eleven at the age of 111. Henry, the centenarian Tuatara resides at the Southland Museum and Art Gallery and was a "grumpy old man" until he had a cancerous tumour removed from his genitals in 2002. The gallery's Tuatara curator Lindsay Hazley revealed Henry became less aggressive after the operation and more keen on the opposite sex.
He was caught getting familiar with a female named Mildred last March. Lindsay informs us, 'I went off the idea he was good for breeding, but once the tumour was removed, he was no longer aggressive.'
All's Well That Ends Well, as Shakespeare would have said.
Toad With Friend
Mr Cheeky Toad
A frog walks into a bank to ask for a loan. He steps up to the counter and asks for an application form from the cashier, Paddy Wack
'Hey,' says the frog, 'I'd like to fill out an application for a loan.'
Paddy Wack answers cooly, 'Do you have any collateral for this loan; something to stand against your loan?'
The frog replies amiably, 'All I have is this statue of a unicorn.'
'Oooh, I don't know,' mutters Paddy Wack, 'I'll have to check this out with the manager.'
Paddy Wack goes to see the bank manager
The bank manager looks at the statue and immediately announces, 'Knick Knack, Paddy Wack. Give the frog a loan.'
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