Funny Jokes, Amusing Pictures and Videos
Funny Jokes, Amusing Pictures and Videos
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Will and Guy are able to bring you news, from Cambridge University, England, of the discovery of the world's oldest joke book.
Professor Mary Beard, a Cambridge academic, came across it while researching ancient humour for a book. The third century book of jokes from the Roman Empire is written in Greek and entitled Philogelos, which translates as Laughter Lover. Professor Beard has informed us that, 'although they [the jokes] might not be side-splittingly funny, they do give us a fascinating insight.'
Apparently the book contains its own ancient version of the "Monty Python dead parrot sketch". It reads: 'A man buys a slave, who dies soon after. When he complains, the slave seller replies, "Well, he didn't die when I owned him".'
We think that this find is incredible and exciting and we look forward to bringing you further jokes as they are revealed to the public.
Here are Snippets from our Pages of Humour and Funny Pictures
Mrs Mollard had been giving her second-grade students a lesson in science.
She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and Mrs Mollard asked, 'My name begins with the letter "M" and I pick up things. What am I?'
Tim, a little boy in the front row proudly said, 'You're a mother!'
A Question of Physics
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
'Why do we have to learn this stuff?' one young man blurted out.
'To save lives,' the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. 'So how does physics save lives?'
The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor concluded, 'Physics saves lives,' he said, 'because it keeps the idiots out of medical school.'
A Generous Diet
Needing to shed a few pounds, Robert, and his wife Jennifer, went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. They followed the instructions extremely closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for their individual portions. Robert and Jennifer felt terrific and thought the diet was wonderful; they had never felt better, nor did they ever feel hungry.
As time progressed, Robert and Jennifer realized that they were, in fact, putting on weight and not losing it. They decided that they ought to check the detail of the recipes just one more time. It was then that they found their error.
There, in small print, Robert and Jennifer saw, to their horror: 'Serves 6'.
Inept Burglar Beaten by Victim
Police are searching for an inept burglar who was beaten by his victim; the beating was inflicted by a 42-year-old woman who discovered the man in her back garden in Norwich, Norfolk, England. He tried to flee but got stuck on a fence and the woman thrashed him with a bamboo cane.
This bungling burglar ran away and later knocked over a broom in a garden nearby; he then, apparently became dazzled by a bright security light and fell into a garden pond before making his escape.
Darlene was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, 'Grandpa, did God make you?'
'Yes, darling,' he answered, 'God made me a long time ago.'
'Oh,' Darlene paused, 'Grandpa, did God make me too?'
'Yes, indeed, poppet,' he said, 'God made you just a little while ago.'
Feeling their respective faces again, Darlene observed, 'God's getting better at it, isn't he?'
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