Things To Do in ASDA
Will and Guy's Collection of Supermarket Jokes
Try the following in ASDA (Or Wal-Mart, FranPrix or any Supermarket)
Manful Attempt at the Shopping
Last Saturday morning, Brian, the manager of the local Tesco Extra used by Will and his wife, noticed a somewhat bewildered man staring vacantly at his shopping list in front of the produce counter. As the manager approached, intending to offer assistance, he noticed printed in large capital letters at the bottom of the man's list: 'YOU HAVE NOW FINISHED SHOPPING - COME HOME.
Katy worked in a Morrisons
supermarket in Baildon, Yorkshire, and every night at closing time she reminded shoppers over the public address system to finish their shopping as the store was closing.
Realising her mistake, Katy quickly got herself out of trouble by adding, '. . . you are obviously in the wrong store.'
Rupert, the salesman, was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a John Lewis department store in Doncaster. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress. Finally to impress even the sceptics in the crowd, Rupert bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and calmly said, 'And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside.'
Will and Guy's Recommendations For More Things To Do.....
I went to Asda on a whim, to buy some eye-shadow and eye pencils. On my way out, I noticed a display of camping equipment, for families. There were tents (grey) and matching fold up chairs. "I need one of those chairs", I thought.
The display was like a garden, with artificial lawn, raised up about 10 inches off the ground, with a small wooden garden fence, and so I climbed over it, crossed the "grass" and sat on a chair, to see if it was LOW enough for my short legs. Then I calmly got up, crossed the "grass", climbed back down and went inside to look for one of the chairs. I could not find them, but decided to leave it for another day anyway.
I started to leave, but a tall red haired young woman suddenly stopped me and said: "WERE YOU THE WOMAN WHO JUST GOT UP OUT OF THAT CHAIR?" and I said YES. And she said:
"YOU SCARED ME TO DEATH!!!" She had seen me sitting there, and suddenly I stood up.
(She thought I was part of the display, and there was a family of "dummies" - very pasty-faced mum, dad and child/children part of the display).
I said: "WELL I KNOW I AM A DUMMY - BUT I'M NOT THAT PALE!! " and we had hysterics. She must have thought it was part of the "act". Like those "human sculptures" they have in cities all over the world.
Please send us your funny 'Things To Do in ASDA'
Illegal Parking in Supermarket
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