Funny Hotel Stories - Tenjewberrymuds
Room Service and Funny Hotel Stories
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia. It was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:
To get the full effect it should be read aloud. [You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation.]
Room Service (RmSv): Morrin. Roon sirbees.
RmSv: Rye...Roon sirbees...morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen?
RmSv: Ow July den?
RmSv: Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?
RmSv: Ow July dee baykem? Crease?
RmSv: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
RmSv: An toes. July Sahn toes?
RmSv: No? Judo wan sahn toes??
RmSv: Toes! toes!... Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?
RmSv: We bodder?
Guest: Excuse me?
Guest: Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all.
Guest: Whatever you say.
Guest: You're very welcome.
Mary Poppins was making her way home, but the weather was getting worse so she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.
'Certainly madam,' he replied politely.
And is the restaurant open still?' asked Mary.
Mary smiled and took the menu and scanned it quickly. 'Yes,' Mary
murmured, 'I would like cauliflower cheese please.'
'Also, I would like breakfast in bed?' added Mary.
'In that case, I would like a couple of boiled eggs, please,' Mary
The night passed uneventfully and the next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same chap was still on duty.
'Morning, madam. Sleep well?'
'Food to your liking?'
'Oh...well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion,' said the receptionist.
'OK, I will...thanks.' replied Mary. She then scribbled a comment into the book, and, waving goodbye she left to continue her journey.
Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written.
Byron checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. Five minutes later he calls the reception desk and says, 'You've given me a room with no exit. How do I get out?' The desk clerk says, 'Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?'
Byron replies, 'Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into a cupboard. And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'Do not disturb' sign on it.'
Dogs are Welcome
Paul wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his holidays: 'I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?'
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who wrote: 'Dear Paul, I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too.'
Make Your Own Bed?
Denis went on holiday to Torremolinos, Spain and stayed in a cheap hotel. The reason it was cheap was because he had to make his own bed. They gave him a hammer and nails to do just that!
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