Funny Oxymoron Examples
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. Groucho Marx
English contains a rich supply of figures of speech, but few have as many amusing possibilities as an oxymoron, for example:
I can picture my friend 'Barking' Eddie, it's a pretty ugly sight. I see him half naked, sipping non-alcoholic beer from his plastic glass. Then from time-to-time he nibbles on his cold hotdog, which is smothered in hot chili sauce. For pudding Eddie will be having freezer burnt, white chocolate, ice cream, with a plain fudge topping.
Next week Eddie is organizing a working party for Hell's angels. This is a new tradition, they will be spending a whole half-day on the top floor of his low-rise office. They are hoping to watch a live recording of a programme about turning green oranges into non-stick glue.
Another Batch of Amusing Oxymorons
Here are funny requests that are often given to newbies, or as part of initiative rites for new employees. Other names for this mischief include: fool's errand, snipe hunt or a wild goose chase. You can picture the scenario, 'Hey Sonny, go down to the stores and ask Joe for a dozen ....'
The dictionary definition of oxymoron is:- A rhetorical figure of speech in which contradictory terms are paired, for example, alone together, current history or boneless ribs. However, with an oxymoron the incongruous word pairing conveys a truth or a dramatic result.
It is possible to sub-divide English oxymorons into three main
d) An alternative zany definition for an oxymoron: One who forgets to breathe!
The word oxymoron is derived from the Greek oxumōros, which means 'obviously foolish', a Latin equivelent would be: contradictio in terminis. Incidentally, the related word sideroxylon specifically refers to a mismatch between the noun and its adjective, e.g. cold fire.
As I ponder the word oxymoron, I cannot decide which plural is the better Oxymora or oxymorons. I also cannot get the syllable 'moron' out of my mind.
Another Batch of Oxymorons
Reported in The Scotsman newspaper by Aura Sabadus:
Mallemaroking may not be a word that crops up often in everyday conversation, but a prestigious reference book based in Edinburgh is fighting to save it, along with other quirky entries.
The expression, which means 'carousing of seamen in ice-bound ships', is on a save list compiled by the Chambers Dictionary in an attempt to preserve linguistic heritage, and to amuse Scrabblers or crossword setters. Ian Brookes, the dictionary's editor, said the publication, 'resisted the temptation to toss words out, even if that meant adding more pages'.
He added: 'Some of the words have a certain relish about them and it would be sad to lose them. The Chambers Dictionary is one of the few reference books to preserve such words.'
Mr Brookes said rare words were often looked up by people drawing up family trees.
Also on the save list are jobernowl (blockhead), logodaedalus (someone skilled in the manipulative use of words), incompossible (incapable of co-existing) and supernaculum (to the last drop). But the new edition, will include new words such as 'stooze' - to borrow money at a cheap rate.
Onomatopoeia is figure of speech where the word sounds like the thing that it is describing. For example, 'Miaow' 'moo', or 'slosh'. Here are examples from advertising.
Annoying, irritating and sometimes downright silly expressions added by Will and Guy:
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