Miscellany that made Will and Guy laugh

Miscellany that made Will and Guy laugh

• An odd miscellany of trivial facts
• Underwear is important
• New York Prices
• Realistic Painting
• June Jokes Home

An odd miscellany of trivial facts; Or a trivial miscellany of odd facts

• In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50 minutes.
• It's illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while you're sitting on a curb in St. Louis.
• A ' jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
• Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
• It's against the law to burp, or sneeze in a certain church in Omaha, Nebraska
• Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second.
• Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.
• Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult.
• The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad.
• In Natoma, Kansas, it's illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits.
• Nearly all lipstick contains fish scales.
• Almost half the newspapers in the world are published in the United States and Canada.

New York Prices

Three building contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. One was from New York, another from Texas, and the third from Florida.

At the end of

the tour, the security guard asked them what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors, the guard said, 'Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it and give me a bid?'

So, to the back fence they all went to check it out.

First to step up was the Florida contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, 'Well I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.'

Next was the Texas contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, 'Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.

Without so much as moving, the New York contractor said, '$2,700.'

The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'

'Easy,' he said $1,000 for me, $1,000 for you and we hire the guy from Texas.'

Realistic Painting

At an exhibition of military painting a visitor was admiring a picture.

'What a great realist that painter is!' he exclaimed.

'What painter?'

'The one that painted this picture ''Soldiers at Work''.'

'Yes, but something is wrong there. Those soldiers aren't working at all!'

'That is just the greatest stroke of realism in the picture!'

Underwear is important
(from Northwest Florida Daily News - 15 May 2006)

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.

The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. 

Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

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