building contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. One was from New York, another from Texas, and the third from Florida.
At the end of the tour, the security guard asked them
what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors, the guard said, 'Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it and give me a bid?'
to the back fence they all went to check it out.
First to step up was the Florida contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, 'Well I figure the job will run about
$900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.'
Next was the Texas contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, 'Looks like I can do this
job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.
Without so much as moving, the New York contractor said, '$2,700.'
The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, 'You didn't
even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'
'Easy,' he said $1,000 for me, $1,000 for you and we hire the guy from Texas.'
From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with
the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts,
and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three
stitches in his forehead.
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