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Funny Name and Job

Funny Name and Job

Have you ever received a letter where the signature at the bottom of the page accurately reflects the profession of the person writing?  Or perhaps in a newspaper you have come across an appropriate name which matches the type of job the person has.  For example an editor of the Christian Science Monitor had the name of Silence Bellows.

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Funny Name and Job

Guy and Will have researched some more which may make you smile.  Where possible we have shown where the names come from. Sadly we cannot guarantee their accuracy:

  • Bankers, Wallowa County, Oregon: Cheatham & Steele
  • Chorister, Westminster Choir College, Princeton, New Jersey: Justin Tune
  • Gynaecologist, New York Hospital, New York City: Dr Zoltan Ovary
  • Chairman, Tetley Tea Company, London: Tetley Ironsides Tetley Jones
  • Dentist, Roslyn Heights, New York: Dr. E. Z. Filler
  • Phlebotomist, St Mary's Hospital, Portsmouth, UK: Lavinia Blood
  • The national Director of Surgery at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs in Washington, D.C.  Dr Blades
  • Plumber Worcester UK: Mr Turner-Heaton
  • Lloyds/TSB Bank Manager, Waterlooville, UK: Mr F. Knox
  • Mr. Vice, Malefactor, New Orleans, Louisiana. Arrested 890 times and convicted 421, probably a record (International Herald Tribune)

More Funny Name and Job

  • Interior decorator, Reading, UK: Derek Paynter
  • Municipal Tax Collector, Brazil (Financial Times): Cardiac Arrest da Silva
  • Funeral Director, Sydney, Australia: C. D' Eath and Sons
    [Will once knew a Mrs Pine-Coffin from Devon, UK but she was an owner of holiday cottages not an undertaker]
  • Landscape Gardeners from Salisbury, UK called: Budd and Bush
  • Silent Movie Organist, Rochester, New York: C. Sharp Minor
  • Central City, Kentucky automobile salesman: Henry Ford Carr
  • Never Fail is a builder in Tulsa, Oklahoma
  • Mr Robbins is a renowned ornithologist (bird scientist and bird-bander) at a Federal wildlife research center in Maryland, USA. He is co-author of the guidebook "Birds of North America".
  • This one does fit in at all with the others but we couldn't resist it: Charles Adolphe Faux-Pas Bidet, Commissaire de Police, Paris, France in the 1930's

 

Footnote:
If you know other funny name / job combinations like these please send them into us.

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Here Are Will and Guy's Top Ten Favourite Names Which Fit The Job Perfectly

An aptronym or aptonym is a name aptly suited to its owner. They can often be hilarious, amusing and funny. Will and Guy have researched these examples for you to enjoy.

  1. David Bird is an ornithologist.
  2. Scott Constable is, of course, a policemen.
  3. Helen Painter is an artist.
  4. Raymond Strike has to be a Trades Union leader.
  5. Shona Shears cuts people's hair.
  6. Steve Adore is a dock worker.
  7. Dr Joseph Babey is a paediatrician.
  8. Dr Djerk works as a psychiatrist.
  9. Bertha de Bleus is a jazz singer [sounds suspicious to me says Will].
  10. And yes, Dr D'Eath is a surgeon.

Ones for luck: Roy Grout is a bricklayer who has a mate named Morris Glaser who does the windows.

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Funny, Clean Aptronyms or Aptonyms

Fictional examples of aptronyms include Mr Talkative and Mr Worldly Wiseman in John Bunyan's classic book "The Pilgrim's Progress" written in 1678.  The word aptronymn itself was probably invented by United States newspaper columnist Franklin P. Adams.

  • Alan Ball, English footballer who played in England's 1966 World Cup winning team.
  • Anna Smashnova, tennis player.
  • Billy Drummond, American jazz drummer.
  • Bob Flowerdew, gardener and Gardeners' Question Time panellist.
  • Bob Rock, rock music producer, including Metallica and Bon Jovi.
  • Brenda Song, singer.
  • Cecil Fielder and his son Prince Fielder, baseball players.
  • Jaime Gold winner of 2006 World Series of Poker
  • Chuck Long, former NFL quarterback for the Detroit Lions and the Los Angeles Rams.
  • Henry Head, an English neurologist.
  • Igor Judge, Lord Chief Justice of England and Wales .
  • Learned Hand, judge.
  • Lord Brain, neurologist.
  • Marc Rich, billionaire financier.
  • Margaret Court, tennis player.
  • Margaret Spellings, Education Secretary under George W. Bush.
  • Peter Bowler, cricketer who was, in fact, primarily a batsman.
  • Pippa Greenwood, plant pathologist and "Gardeners' Question Time" panellist in the UK.
  • Scott Free a defence attorney.
  • Thomas Crapper, manufacturer of Victorian toilets. Please note that the word "crap" predates Mr Crapper.] .
  • Tiger Woods, golfer [A wood is a type of golf club].
  • Usain Bolt, Jamaican sprinter, Olympic Gold medalist, 100m and 200m world record holder.
  • William Wordsworth, poet.
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Aptonyms

The name 'aptonym' is derived from the old English word 'apt' meaning 'exactly suitable', and the Greek 'onuma' or 'name'.  

Here are Relatives of Aptonyms

Toponymy - The Study of Unusual Place Names

  • Fleatown, is an itchy place in Ohio.
  • Great Cockup in Cumbria, England.
  • Two Guns, famously in Arizona.
  • Giggleswick in Yorkshire, England.
  • Toad Suck, is found in Arkansas.
  • A Monkey's Eyebrow, is based in Arizona.
  • See more examples of Toponymy.

Nominative DeterminismNominative Determinism

Nominative sounds like Latin grammar, but in this context nominative just means name.  The underpinning concept is that Asian parents apply expectation theory to choosing their child's name, as a result their offspring are pre-determining to get on in life.  While Carl Jung espoused this view in a paper on synchronicity, this view of selecting boys names in particular with an eye to their role in society goes back to the dawn of civilization.

Another variant of nominative determination comes with surnames in Western societies.  Here are examples

  • Larry Speakes - Ronald Regan's Whitehouse spokesman.
  • Lord Judge - Chief justice in England.
  • Chris Moneymaker - Poker player.
  • Stephen Rowbotham - British Olympic oarsman.
  • And last but not least Usain Bolt.

In addition to aptronym, here are more synonyms for nominative determinism apronym, aptonym, jobonymns, and  namephreaks.

South African Update

There is a Zulu tradition to name children after events that occur near their birth - fair enough.  However, Will and Guy pity these poor children who have been given these unfortunate names following the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.  Coach Sibise, Stadium Gumbi, Tickets Ngubane and Park n Ride Khumalo.  We also wonder about the father of Offside Mchunu.

 

Footnote:

Please send us your funny name and job combinations.  For example:
Amateur boxer Joe Flanagan named his two sons Bob and Weave.

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See more humorous names:

Humorous names   • Funny Words   • Collective nouns   • Funny English words   • Neologism words

Funny children's names   • Really funny surnames   • Humorous shop names   • Home - Clean jokes

Funny pub names   • Funny house names   • Funny websites   • Toponymy   • Funny name and job