It's fascinating to see communication differences between men and women. Incidentally, the correct word here is indeed gender, this has everything
to do with masculinity and femininity and nothing to do with sex.
To impress his date, Randy, a young man, took her to a very posh Italian
restaurant in Greenwich Village.
After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and ordered. 'We'll
have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci,' he said.
'Sorry, sir,' said the waiter. 'That's the owner.'
What Price A Good Woman?
In East Windsor Hospital in Connecticut, USA, the relatives gathered in
the waiting room as their family member lay gravely ill.
Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre. 'I'm afraid I am
the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the worried faces, 'The only
hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an
experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain
The family members sat silently as they absorbed the news. After a few
minutes, one asked, 'Well, how much does a brain cost?'
The doctor responded quickly, '$50,000 for a male brain, and $2,000 for a
female brain.' [£32,500 GBP - £13000 GBP]
The moment turned awkward. The men in the room tried not to smile,
avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. One man,
unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to
ask, 'Why is the male brain so much more than the female brain?' The
doctor smiled at the childish innocence and then replied to the entire
group, 'It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price
of the female brains, because they've been used.'
Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men
need instant replays in sports because they've already forgotten what
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing.
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and
favourite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is
vaguely aware of some small people living in the house.
If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would
you go to lunch or to a movie?
Book of the Week:
My wife suggested that a good book for me to read to enhance our
relationship. The title is, "Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong."
How To Help Around The House
Philip was enjoying the second week of a two-week vacation the same way
he had enjoyed the first week: by doing as little as possible.
He ignored his wife Paula's not-so-subtle hints about completing certain
jobs around the house, but Philip didn't realize how much this bothered her
until the clothes dryer refused to work, the iron shorted and the sewing
machine motor burned out in the middle of a seam. The final straw came when
she plugged in the vacuum cleaner and nothing happened.
Paula looked so stricken that I had to offer some consolation.
'That's OK, darling,' Philip said. 'You still have me.'
Paula looked up at him with tears in her eyes. 'Yes, Philip,' she wailed,
'but you don't work either.'
How To Show Consideration For The Good Woman
Two married friends, Ross and Allan went on a drinking binge together and
Ross started his tale of woe.
He said, 'Whenever I go home late at night after spending some time with
my friends at a bar, I turn the headlights and engine off before and coast
the car in my garage very, very silently. I sneak up the stairs only after
taking off my shoes and ease very slowly in bed. Still, my wife wakes up and
all hell breaks loose as she starts shouting g at me for drinking and for
being out so late.'
Allan gave Ross a long meaningful stare, shook his head, and commented,
'Mate, try my method. I screech into the driveway, slam all doors noisily,
storm up the steps, throw my clothes and shoes all over the place as I
undress and then jump into the bed and............my wife is always sound asleep.'
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