Funny Food Stories
Will and Guy's Funny Food Stories
Here is our collection of amusing stories involving waiters, waitresses, pizza, eggs and more types of food.
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlour with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.
The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital:
Agent: Hello. I'd like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
Pizza Man: Everyone at the psychiatric hospital is
an FBI agent?
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Pizza Man: And you're all
Pizza Man: I don't think so. *Click*
More Funny Food Stories
I've always ordered my soft drinks in a simple way, e.g. 'A Coke, please.'
Lately, though, this hasn't seemed to work. Waitresses now often respond, 'I'm sorry, we don't have Coke. We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up, Hartridges, Virgin Cola, Sprite and Red Bull.'
Exhausted by listening to the long list of soft drinks, I thought I'd make life easier. So one day I simply asked the snack bar staff at a cinema for a 'dark, cold, carbonated beverage.'
The young man behind the counter smiled and asked, 'Yes sir, and would you like a long, thin, cylindrical plastic sucking device with that?'
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals, I am a vegetarian because
I hate plants.
Ice Cream Not Smooth Enough
Manuel Oliveira owned an ice cream shop in Mérida, Venezuela; and he reported that he sold 567 flavours, including onion, chilli, beer, eggplant [aubergine], smoked trout, spaghetti and parmesan, chicken with rice, and spinach. He said some flavours fail; he once abandoned avocado ice cream, and tossed out 99 pounds of it, because it wasn't smooth enough.
Victor saw a sign in the window of Barney's Restaurant, Droitwich Spa, UK, that read 'Unusual Breakfast'. Always an adventurous eater, Victor went in and sat down. The waitress brought him his pot of tea and asked him what he wanted to eat.
'What's does your unusual breakfast include?' he asked politely.
'Baked tongue of chicken!' she replied with a grin.
'Baked tongue of chicken?... baked tongue of chicken! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!' Victor cried.
Undaunted, the waitress asked, 'What would you like then?'
'Oh, just bring me some scrambled eggs,' Victor replied.
Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
"Could you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a massive failure for the following reasons:
Kindly sent in by Jenny & Les Simmonds
UK border officials detained a 22 year old man from Burkina Faso for trying to smuggle 94 kilos (over 200 pounds) of dried caterpillars through customs. His excuse? He thought it would be OK as they were food for 'personal consumption'.
Unlike the 47 year old from Togo who, when it was discovered that he had 33 pounds of live, fuzzy caterpillars in his suitcase, tried to eat as many as possible to show that they were harmless. He added that they were a snack that he was addicted to.
In some countries caterpillars are considered a delicacy......I'll stick to chocolate!
Will has a particular love of spicy food as his mother came from Sri Lanka [Ceylon] and he lived there in the 1950's; so he was pleased to find this amusing pop chart using well known 'curry' terms. You may be able to add to the list; if so, please contact us.
Pop music: The Curry Charts :
35. Poppadum Preach -
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