English Menu (Ingliz Menuyu)

Will and Guy's Humour - Funny English Idioms

• English Menu (Ingliz Menuyu)
• Alternative Chinese English Menu
• Pigeon's Milk
• Turkey - Bodrum Airlines
• More of Will and Guy's best clean jokes for February

1) English Menu (Ingliz Menuyu)

William Dalrymple was born in Scotland and has become an internationally acclaimed writer of many travel books.  He wrote a book, at the age of 22, called 'In Xanadu' which was published in 1989.

In his book Dalrymple recorded various experiences he and his companion had while travelling in Asia; this example is a menu he came across in a restaurant.  It's a wonderful example of how to mangle English and is best appreciated by reading it out loud.  However, the funny English idioms can be deciphered, even better, bet the food was delicious.

Kujuk Ayas Family Restrant

      Ingliz Menuyu

Soap:

Ayas soap

Turkish tripte soap

Sheeps foot

Macaront

Water pies

Eats from meat:

Deuner kepab with pi

Kebap with green pe

Kebap in paper

Meat pide

Kebap with mas patato

Samall bits of meat grilled

Almb chops

Vegetables:

Meat in earthenware stev pot

Stfue goreen pepper

Stuffed squash

Stuffed tomatoes z

Stuffed cabbages lea

Leek with finced meat

Clery

Salad:

Brain salad

Cacik -- a drink made ay ay

And cucumber

Frying Pans:

Fried aggs

Scram fried aggs

Scrum fried omlat

Omlat with brain

Sweets and Fruits:

Stewed atrawberry

Nightingales nests

Virgin lips

A sweet dish of thinsh of batter with butter

Banane

Meon

Leeches

2) Alternative Chinese English Menu - Funny English Idioms

See more examples of Engrish

2a) Restaurant Correction

The above restaurant correction reminds me of the reverse story.  A man sent his wife into a Chinese restaurant to ask for 20 No 6.  Instead of returning with one packet of cigarettes, she came out with 20 portions of egg fried rice.

Footnote
Players No 6 was a top brand of cigarettes in the 1960s and 1970s.

3) Pigeon's Milk

Pigeon's milk is one of the desserts on offer at a Latvian restaurant. According to the Daily Mirror, the menu also offers a main course of 'grilled surgeon'.

Travel Trade Gazette has collected confused hotel notices and menus that holidaymakers have spotted:

• A Polish restaurant offers: "roasted duck let loose, beef rashers beaten in the country people's fashion".
• A Japanese public bath warned guests: 'not to pull cock in tub'.
• While a Thai hotel told guests: 'do not bring solicitors into your room'.

4) Turkey - Bodrum Airlines

We have found a further amusing example of the way in which the English language can be mangled. These funny English idioms apparently first appeared in the New Yorker magazine in the 1980's and is an attempt by Bodrum airlines of Turkey to translate their regulations into English for inclusion on their passenger tickets. Despite their problems with the language nearly all of these can be understood.

1) You do not get rezarvation with Bodrum Airlines.

2) Your ticket cann't bu used if you be late or you miss departure time.

3) Bodrum Airlines is able to cary all passengers and baggeces but if any unusual things happen the can pany can change schadule or find another aircraft or company.

4) You have to pay extra price if your baggece more than 10 kg. if aircraft baggece cappacity is avalleble.

5) Do not allawe to drink alcaol and smoke cigarets on board.

6) Lost baggece insurance is 20.000 - TL (Twenty Thawzent)

7) You can not give back your ticket, but, if you annonce us before 24 hours your depart that you cannot fly you can use your ticket with in one year. After passing one year, you can not fly with your ticket.

8) If someone gets ticket by doing tricky, Bodrum Airlines has rezerved the rights that there is no must to give a permation that passenger gets on the board.

9) Ticket price for 0-2 year ache babys are 10% of normal price.

10) Pragnent and sick people have to have doctor's permetion that they can get on the board.

11) Bodrum Airlines is not able to cary out flight schadule if an unusual thinks take place like bed weather, NOTAM, float, fire, eath queke, war, gone of elefricity, natural disaster, etc.

12) You have to get in touch with contuar befe 30 mitutes of the departure, atherwine you don't get on the board and you don't have any rights for justice.

13) Each passangere has ensurance 25.000.000 — TL (Twenty five milyon TL)

Please send us your examples of funny English idioms

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