Funny Joke Stories for March
Funny Stories for March that made Will and Guy Laugh
What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance. Havelock Ellis
Here is a selection of our Funny Joke Stories for March :
This month's material combines clean jokes and funny stories. We also aim to amuse - even surprise, but never to shock or offend.
Excerpts from this month's Lawyer Jokes
Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
Q: I understand you're Donald Rowbotham's
Old Man at the Dam - Funny Story
An elderly man in Queensland had owned a large property for several years. He had a dam in one of the lower paddocks where he had planted mango and avocado trees. The dam had been fixed up for swimming when it was built and he also had some picnic tables placed there in the shade of the fruit trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a ten litre bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the dam, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his dam. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'We' re not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the dam naked.' Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the crocodile.'
Moral: Old men may walk slow, but they can still think fast
How To Speak Chinese?
Examples of How to Speak New Zealand
Caught with an Axe in his hand - Funny Joke Story
Mr Harris, the 3rd grade teacher asked, 'George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Iris, do you know why his father didn't punish him?'
Iris replied, 'Because George still had the axe in his hand?'
Major concerns for being a parent:
1st baby: At the first sign of upset, the slightest cry you pick up the baby for a cuddle.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her cries threaten to wake your neighbours.
3rd baby: You teach your 2 year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Will and Guy hope these amusing collections will make you smile:
What led me to do this article is that I read a report by the journalist, Simon Hoggart in The Guardian in which he mentioned that he knew a man in New Zealand who collected airline sickness bags, now that is weird and we can only hope they are empty.
Funny Place Names Located in the USA
The Irish Mensa Test - Classic Funny Joke Story
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying: 'If you don't use it, you will lose it', also applies to the brain.
Seamus O'Brien had been hailed the most intelligent Irish man for three years running. He had topped such shows as Larry Gogan's 'Just a Minute Quiz' and 'Quicksilver'. It was suggested by the Irish Mensa board that he should enter into the English Mastermind Championships. He did, and won a place. On they evening of the competition, Seamus enters from the crowd and places himself on the Leather Seat and makes himself comfortable. The lights dim and a spot light points at his face.
Magnus says, 'Seamus, What subject are you studying?'
'Very well,' says Magnus, 'Your first Question: in what year did the
'Easter Rising take Place?'
'OK,' says Magnus, 'Who was the Leader of the Easter Rising?'
'OK,' says Magnus, 'How long did the Easter Rising Last?'
Instantly, a voice shouts from the audience, 'Good man Seamus....tell the English nothing....'
March's Out-of-the-ordinary Events
If you like this page then please share it with your friends
See more of Will and Guy's best clean jokes for each month: