June Jokes that make Will and Guy Laugh

You too can advertise here on Will and Guy's site.

Jokes for June that made Will and Guy Laugh

Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source. Ron Nesen

Will and Guy's jokes for June

Special Occasions in June

Here is a selection of our jokes for June:

Medical Jokes- Anaesthetist

Dwayne is recovering from surgery in St Peter's, Chertsey, UK, having had a local anaesthetic when a nurse asks him how he's feeling.' I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery.'

'What did he say?' asks the nurse.

'OOPS!'

Funny Signs

In a restaurant window just outside Brixham, Devon, UK: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.
In a health food shop window in Los Angeles, USA: Closed due to illness.
In a pub in West Sussex which is non-smoking: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

New Police Numbers that Will and Guy dial

112: The Bloke Who's Just Moved In Over The Road is renovating his house and the builders sometimes talk loudly about football at 8.15am.

113: Your postman has dirty fingernails and looks as if he might have once been in prison.

114: You've finally seen the Bloke Who's Just Moved In Over The Road. It's OK, he's white, but you still don't like the cut of his jib. Maybe he's unemployed.

Pants on Fire

An angry husband who threw old clothes into the garden and set fire to them because he couldn't find any clean underpants accidentally burnt his home down. Ivo Jerbic, 55, from Prikraj, near Zagreb, Croatia, told police he had lost his temper after failing to find any clean underpants in a cupboard full of old clothes. He had thrown them all in the garden and set fire to them. He told police, 'My wife never throws anything out, I just lost my temper.' The fire spread to the house which burned to the ground.

Croatian news agency Hina reports that Jerbic could end up in jail for up to eight years for putting other family members in danger, even though no one was injured.

A Mother of a Small Boy Says:

1. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

2. Super glue is forever.

3. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

4. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odour is.

5. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens

®

Things that you ought to know

There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness'.
People who want to share their religious views with you never want you to share yours with them.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
Never lick a steak knife.
The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we put the clocks back.

See more good jokes and funny stories for each month:

● Jokes Months ● January ● February ● March ● April ● May ● June

● July ● August ● September ● October ● November ● December ● Home

Joke of the day

Get a clean joke delivered to your inbox every day, no strings attached, just part of our free service. Subscribe to Will and Guy's Joke of the Day.

We have over 1,000 pages of funny pictures, clean jokes, funny stories and amusing videos. Please use the Search box below to find a topic of particular interest:

Jokes for mobile phones / cell phones

Will and Guy now have clean jokes and funny pictures formatted for 'mobi' or cell phones. Discover more about our 'mobi' sub-site

If you enter the following uri into your mobile or cell phone, then you can view Will and Guy's site on your handset: http://guy-sports.com/mobi/

Email Guy and send your joke or funny picture to:

● Home ● Latest Pages