Jokes that Make Will and Guy Laugh in December

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Jokes for December that made Will and Guy Laugh

Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be. William Hazlitt

Selected Jokes for December

Special Occasions in December

Here is a selection of our jokes for December:

The Catfish Tale

A man who lives at Lake Conroe [50 miles north of Houston, Texas, USA ] saw a ball bouncing around strangely in the lake and went to investigate.

Cases of Red Tape

Firemen in Essex, England were warned that they faced disciplinary action after sleeping on their fire station floor because it was 'an unauthorised rest facility.'
In Tajikistan (ex region of USSR ), visitors require 11 permits to gain admittance.
Midlothian council left the lights on at a disused school in case unauthorised intruders tripped over in the dark.
From the other side of the fence. In December 2005, the U.S. Attorney's Office for the Middle District of Tennessee announced that two officials had been arrested for for taking bribes for the purchase of - red tape. In this true story, the officials were found to be taking kickbacks of $1 per roll. The worst part of the affair to our thinking was that one small department could buy 100,000 rolls of red tape!

Fancy a Nosebag?

'Some biscuit bar manufacturer hit upon the simple notion of emptying out the leavings of carthorse nose bags, adding a few other things like unconsumed portions of chicken layer's mash, and the sweepings of racing stables, packaging the mixture into little bars and selling them in health food shops.'

Thanks to Frank Muir, the late British comedian and broadcaster.

This is allegedly a true story researched by Guy and Will.

The name of a two-year-old boy was listed on the country's list of wanted suspects. He was briefly banned from getting on a plane bound for Turkey. The details on the toddler's passport had been the same as those in an arrest warrant, even the date of birth.

'While going through the passport checking procedures to get on board, one of the officers on duty said they wanted to take Suhail,' Emirates Today quoted the boy's father, Abdullah Mohamed Saleh, as saying. 'I thought he was kidding me and said 'Take him if you want'. He showed me a print-out of a document that said Suhail was wanted and there was an arrest warrant for him.'
Officials said they would investigate the cause of the mix-up.

Christ the Redeemer - Pictures from Rio de Janeiro

Toy Test:

Obtain large box of tin tacks. Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

See more ideas to amuse kids.

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