The Secret of Getting Old

The Secret of Getting Old

Here is a mellow PowerPoint Presentation which captures the joys of old age.

Aging:

Before middle age - Do not fear!
After middle age - Do not regret!

Secret of Old Age

Enjoy Your Life While You Can

Secret of Old Age

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 PowerPoint Presentation The Secret of Getting Old

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Secrets Of Life - Presentation Transcript

  1. Set 'Slide Show' To View The Secrets of Life
    To All Retired Friends...
  2. The Secrets of Life - in 6 words:
    Before middle age - Do not fear!
    After middle age - Do not regret!
  3. Enjoy Your Life While You Can
    Do not wait till you cannot even walk just to be sorry and
    to regret!
    As long as it is physically possible, visit places you wish
    to visit.
  4. Get out of the stock market!
    When the share prices are up, your blood pressure goes up too,
    you want to buy but you cannot get.
    When the share prices are down, you panic and want to sell,
    but no one wish to buy.
    You can't make all the money, why not let the young ones
    have a chance!
  5. When there is an opportunity:
    Get together with old classmates, old
    colleagues & old friends.
    The gathering is not just about
    eating, the concern is there is not
    much time left!
    Money kept in the banks may not be really yours. When it is time to spend, just spend. You should treat yourself well as you're getting old!
  6. Whatever you feel like eating, just eat!
    It is most important to be happy!
  7. There are two kinds of food:
    Things which are good for health - eat often, eat more but that is not everything.
    2. Things which are not good for health - eat a little, eat once a while but do not abstain from them totally.
  8. Food that you do not feel like eating or do not like, you still need to eat a little once a while, just to balance your nutrition intake!
    Treat sickness with optimism. Whether you are poor, rich, powerful or powerless, everyone will have to go through the process of birth, aging, sickness and death, there is no exception, that's life!
  9. Do not be afraid or worried when you are sick. Settle all the outstanding issues before hand and when you are well, including your funeral arrangements, You will be able to leave this world anytime, without regret!
    Let the doctors handle your body, Let GOD / NATURE handle your life, But be in charge of your own moods!
  10. If worries can cure your sickness, then go ahead and worry! If worries can prolong your life, then go ahead and worry! If worries can exchange for happiness, then go ahead and worry!
  11. Our kids will have their own fortune. Things concerning children and grandchildren, We can listen with ears, We can see with eyes, Just do not open your mouths or make any comments!
  12. The principles are : Do not say anything that are fruitless, Do not do anything that is beyond your ability to achieve, If you are in a reactive situation, make your judgment based on the circumstances, If your children and grand children are independent, it is your good fortune!
  13. Look After Four Old Treasures
    The old body - pay more attention to information about health care, you can only rely on yourself to take care of your own health!
    The retirement funds - money that you have earned, it is best to keep them yourself
    The old companion - treasure every moment with your other half, one of you will leave first!
    The old friends - seize every opportunities to meet up with your friends, such opportunities will be rare as time goes by.
  14. Do not panic when the lights go off, You can still see lot of stars in the sky
    Three Things You Must Do Everyday!
    - The first thing: Laugh
    - The second thing: Smile
    - The third thing: Laugh loudly and to your heart's content.
  15. A wonderful life will always find wonderful reasons The one who can laugh last, will be the one with the sweetest laugh!
    Be determined in doing an appropriate amount of exercises everyday , Have sufficient sleep, Maintain a peaceful and cheerful state of mind.
  16. Instead of scolding people with red faces
    and swelling blood vessels on the necks,
    Why not just adopt more gracious approaches.
    It will be less unruly
    Laugh a little, it will be like the ocean and the sky with no boundary. There are always ups and downs in life, Since you do not jump for joy when the water vapor rises, Why should you feel sad when it rains!

See more old age humour.

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More Funny Quotes About Retirement

  • Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did - Malcolm Forbes
  • The money's no better in retirement but the hours are - Anonymous
  • Retirement without the love of letters is a living burial - Seneca
  • I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy - Danny McGorty
  • Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it - Gene Perret

The Story of The Retired Husband at Tesco

Dear Mrs. Marsh,

Over the past six months, your husband, Mr Joseph Marsh has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behaviour and have considered banning your entire family from shopping in any of our stores nationwide.

We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our workers are attending counselling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr Marsh have been compiled and are listed below:

Memo: re - Mr Joseph Marsh

Complaints - Things Mr Joseph Marsh has done while his wife was shopping in our store:

  1. June 22: Took 18 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolley's when they weren't looking.
  2. July 4: Set all the alarm clocks in household department to go off at 5 minute intervals.
  3. July 9: Made a trail of tomato ketchup on the floor leading to the toilets.
  4. July 21: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 5' in fruit and veg..... and then watched what happened.
  5. September 14: Moved a ' CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
  6. September 17: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he' d invite them in for a cup of tea if they would bring pillows from the bedding department.
  7. September 29: When a shelf stacker asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and demands, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
  8. October 31: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose in a disgusting fashion.
  9. December 2: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme tune.
  10. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled ' Pick me! Pick me!'
  11. December 23: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the foetal position and screams, 'NO! NO! It's those voices again!'
  12. And; last, but not least!
  13. December 24: Went into a fitting room in the clothing department, shut the door and waited awhile; then, yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here!'

Do you think that Mr Marsh's retirement story is a true story, or a hoax?  Will and Guy are not sure.

See more retirement jokes.

Alternatively, You May Like Our Beautiful Monday PowerPoint Presentation

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How to Create an Inspirational PowerPoint PresentationHow to Create a PowerPoint Presentation

Making presentations in PowerPoint is satisfying, moreover, it's easy to get started.  The PowerPoint program is intuitive to learn and easy to create your own PPT slides and build them into a slide show.  If you have Microsoft Office you may find that you already have PowerPoint along with Word and Excel. 

One way to begin is simply to open any example presentation.  Just download one of our free PPT files and open it with PowerPoint.  As you examine the slides, so it will become obvious how to add pictures and titles, if you do get stuck, ask the wonderful built-in 'Help'.  To make an inspirational slide show requires these skills;

  • Imagination - Think of a motivating idea, then build a themed slide set
  • Artistic - An eye for a good picture
  • Wordsmith - Choose a catchy title for each slide
  • PowerPoint mechanics - Actually, this is the easiest skill of them all, the program is so intuitive.
  • Latest techique - Use Skydrive.  Import to your public folder, embed in your web page.

Good luck with creating your inspirational PowerPoint Presentation

Will and Guy

 

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