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Why did the Computer Chicken Cross the Road?

Why did the Computer Chicken Cross the Road?

  • Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ......

  • C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.

  • C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.

  • COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
       IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
            THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
            VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
            ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
        ELSE
        GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

  • Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.

  • Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

  • Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got flattened by the Web chicken.

  • Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.

  • Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ' backed up' before crossing.

  • Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)

  • Linux Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

  • Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.

  • Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.

  • OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

  • OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

  • Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

  • VB Chicken: USHighways!<TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)

  • Microsoft's Chicken: It's already on both sides of the road. What's more its just bought the road.

  • Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like........ chicken.

  • XP Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

  • The Longhorn Chicken had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.

  • The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.

  • The Vesta Chicken was eaten by my old friend 'Mad Mick'

¤

The Great Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define great, he said, 'I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!'

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