Stupid Criminals

Stupid Criminal StoriesStupid Criminals

Here is our collection of bungling burglars, enept robbers and dumb criminals.  One feature we noticed is that every country seems to have it's share of brainless lawbreakers.

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Phone a Bungling Burglar! Phone a burglar

A bungling burglar in the USA has been arrested after he left his mobile phone on charge at the house of one of his victims. The man was disturbed while rifling through rooms in the house in Washington DC and jumped out of a window to escape Will and Guy have learned.

Police searched the house later and were surprised to find a cell phone, that didn't belong to anyone at the house, charging in a socket.

Officers called one of the numbers in his contacts, told them the phone owner had been involved in an accident and asked for his name. That led to the 25 year old man being arrested and later charged with ten burglaries.

Dutch Bungling BurglarBungling Burglar - Loser of Month

A stupid criminal was caught after he fell down a chimney while escaping over the roof of a house he had just broken into. Police in Maastricht, Holland, arrested the 33-year-old after being called out by the house owners who heard his calls for help. The man had tried to flee out of a roof window with his booty of cash and jewellery, but tumbled in the dark and got stuck inside the chimney.

Another Bungled Chimney Burglar Story

A burglar who got stuck in a chimney while trying to break in to a Los Angeles home has been jailed for two years. Bungling burglar Marco Antonio Espinoza was also ordered to pay the owners of the house more than £5,000 [$9,993.20 USD] to repair the damage done when fire fighters freed him.

When he was caught, he told the police that he was doing building work on the house.

A 'would be' robber had to drop his bank looting plans after he forgot to take with him a bag into which the stolen money could be put.

Apparently, the young man in his 20's, entered a local Chase Bank branch early on Monday morning and passed the cashier a piece of cardboard on which was written 'Give me your money,' reported the Detroit News.

He told the bank teller to 'hurry up,' but when she asked him if he had a bag to put the money into he became flustered and confused and ran off without the cash.

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More Stories of Inept Lawbreakers

The Bungled Get Away

The two criminal masterminds planned their heist carefully. They knew the courier would have a suitcase full of cash.  They waited for his car to pass, then pursued him at high speed, shooting at the vehicle until the courier was forced to pull over.Bungled Robbery - First Aid Kit

Armed robbers made off with what they thought was a suitcase full of cash - they were in for a surprise.  Back at their secret hideout, the bandits prepared to force the locks and spring the cash.  That's when they noticed their plan had gone horribly wrong; instead of taking the money, they made off with a first aid kit.

Police spokesman Johann Steinlitz said, 'If there was an award for the dumbest crooks they would certainly be in the running. Bungled robbery - first aid

But even though they did not get what they were after, we are still investigating for attempted armed robbery and endangering lives.  Luckily the courier was not harmed in the incident.'

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Funny Crime Story From the UK

Burglar in Slough, EnglandExotic Pets - Another bungled burglary

A suspected burglar put in handcuffs after his arrest, attacked a woman police officer and then escaped by driving off in her car.  The female officer was driving the man to Slough police station when he forcibly took control of the car.

The man, one of three arrested on suspicion of burglary, dumped the car in Keel Drive about six minutes away. The suspect is described as Asian, in his mid 20s and about 5ft 8in tall. He may still be wearing handcuffs.

A police spokesperson said, 'This is a serious incident which could have led to the officer and members of the public being seriously hurt. Thankfully, neither was injured, 'I would appeal to anyone who knows the whereabouts of this bungling burglar to contact us immediately.'

Twitchy Robber?Gun fight

Two robbers in Michigan, USA, entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. 

The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' 

When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

 

Car Thief - Loser of the WeekHeroic Failures Car Thief

A car thief who ran out of petrol in rush hour traffic was arrested after police helped him push the stolen vehicle to the side of the road reports The Moscow Times.  Helpful officers in Moscow, Russia, were about to leave the scene and let Alexei Ashurin wait for breakdown services when they noticed the red 15 year old Volkswagen's lock was broken and a screwdriver was sticking out of the ignition.

After checking the number plate, they discovered the vehicle had been stolen and that Ashurin was wanted for a string of other motoring thefts.  He admitted to stealing the car and this stupid criminal is now facing up to two years in prison.

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A Funny Magistrates Court Story

This hilarious story was researched online by Will and Guy and may make you laugh at the stupidity of some crooks.  We cannot, however, vouch for its veracity.

A man arrived the magistrates court, he was charged with impersonating a policeman.

On arrival he was wearing a blue baseball cap with the word 'police' on it; a fluorescent yellow jacket, with 'police' on it, he was carrying a truncheon, a can of CS spray, and he had blue flashing lights in his car.

You will, no doubt wish to know how he came to be arrested. It apparently happened like this: he flagged down a car with two men in it, pulled them over and said 'Police. You're nicked.'

They answered, 'No mate. You're not police - we are.' Funnily, he had stopped two off-duty detectives in an unmarked police car and so ended up in court.

You could not invent a story like it.

...(videoG2)

A Banana?

Banana Burgler

Another Funny Bungling Burglar Tale From Mexico

Robbers broke into the Telefonica Movistar cell-phone store in Morelia, Mexico recently with the aim of stealing some mobile phones.

In their haste to get away they grabbed the first phones that came to hand - hollow replicas, used normally for display purposes only.

Employees explained to Will and Guy that the bungling burglars overlooked real cell phones and cash in another part of the shop.

Man Drops Swag, Locks Keys In Getaway Car, Shoots Himself
- Surely One of The Dumbest Criminals:

A man who had spent 20 years in prison for bank robbery back in 1963 thought he would try again in 2003 in Spotsylvania County, Virginia, USA. He demanded and received several thousand dollars from two surprised bank cashiers and as he fled he spilled $100 notes in his wake as he attempted to stuff the cash into his pockets and get away.

When he reached his hired getaway car this stupid criminal realised that he had locked his keys inside. This bungling burglar promptly took to his heels and fled the scene on foot followed by two passersby who grabbed him. The fleeing felon attempted to pull out his gun but failed, and shot himself in his leg but kept fighting his would be arresters; one of whom shot the suspect.

The local police have charged the robber with 8 felonies, including robbery and 2 counts of attempted murder. The suspect was attended to in hospital and recovered.

No, you couldn't make it up

 

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