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The Question of Hell

Will and Guy's Humour - Something Different -
The Question of Hell

The following is an actual question given as part of a university chemistry exam. The answer given by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with us.

Exam Bonus Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

In answer, one student wrote the following: Guy and Will's humour - Question of Hell

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?  If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you'   Then we take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, therefore number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct.  Logically, this leaves only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, 'Oh my God!'

This student received the only 'A' for this question.

Preparing For Hell?

Short Christian Jokes

A Question of Exam Honesty

In the examination paper, the professor wanted us to sign a form stating that we had not received any outside assistance.

Unsure of whether he should sign the form, one student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God.

The professor carefully studied his answer page and then said, "You can sign it with a clear conscience. God did not assist you."

How Departments Grade Exams

Ever wonder how professors of various departments grade their final exams? Here's an inside look:

Dept. of Statistics: All grades are fitted to a normal curve.

Dept. of Psychology: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor then opens them and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.

Dept. of History: All students get the same grade they got last year.

Dept. of Theology: Grade is determined by God.

Dept. of Philosophy: What is a grade?

Law School: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A when they really deserve an F.

Dept. of Mathematics: Grades are variable.

Dept. of Computer Science: Random number generator determines grade.

Dept. of Music: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). Tone-deaf students fail.

Dept. of Physical Education: Everybody gets an A.

 

Footnote:
Kindly sent in by Les Simmonds, please send us your funny questions.

 

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