Funny Welsh Rugby Jokes
Here is our collection of jokes and funny tales about Wales' national game - rugby.
Classic Welsh Rugby Joke
Question: What do call an Englishman holding a bottle of champagne after a 6 Nations game?
Three Englishman walk into a bar and spot a Welshman sitting alone at a table.
fellow said to the others, 'Let's pick a fight with that Welshman over there.'
He went over to the Welshman and said, 'St David was a flippin' sissy.'
The second Englishman now tried his luck and said to the Welshman, 'St David was a stupid fool that wore a dress!'
The last Englishman told his friends he knew how to rile the Welshman and bounced up to the table and yelled, 'St David was an Englishman!'
The Welshman replied, calmly, 'That's what your mates were trying to tell me.'
A farmer was out on his Welsh hillside tending his flock one day, when he saw a man drinking with a cupped hand from the stream which ran down from one of his fields. Realising the danger, he shouted over to the man, 'Paid a yfed y dwr! Mae'n ych-y-fi!' [Don't drink the water. It's disgusting!]
The man at the stream lifted his head and put a cupped hand to his ear, shrugged his shoulders at the farmer, and carried on drinking.
Realising the man at the stream couldn't hear him, the farmer moved closer, 'Paid a yfed! Dwr ych-y-fi! Defaid yn cachu yn y dwr!' [Don't drink. Water's disgusting. Sheep poo in the water.]
Still the walker couldn't hear the farmer. Finally the farmer walked right up to the man at the stream and once again said again, 'Dwr yn ych-y-fi! Paid a'i yfed!'. [Water's disgusting. Don't drink it!]
'I'm dreadfully sorry my good man, I can't understand a word you say dear boy! Can't you speak English?' said the man at the stream, in a splendid English accent.
'Oh I see', said the farmer, 'I was just saying, if you use both hands you can get more in........ !
Mrs Hopkins ordered a shoulder of Welsh lamb from her butcher, Mr Davies. She suspected that the meat she had been given was not the genuine article.
'Are you certain this is real Welsh lamb?' Mrs Hopkins demanded, angrily.
'Ah, well, Mrs Hopkins,' confessed Mr Davies, the butcher. 'Look you, that lamb was actually born in New Zealand but I can assure you that it had Welsh parents.'
Welsh and Numbers
Two Welshmen, Dylan and Glyn, are sitting on a park bench reading their newspapers.
Dylan notices the headline, '12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed.'
Turning to Glyn, Dylan (Dull'un) enquires, 'Just how many is a Brazilian?'
Funny Welsh Films
In my opinion, the Welsh rugby crowd are masters of coining nicknames. In the 1980's Cardiff had a player called Gerald Cordle playing on the wing. He went through a bad patch, dropping pass after pass with the try line at his mercy. They took to calling him Teflon, because he had non-stick hands. See more rugby nicknames.
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See examples of Welsh jokes, humour and idiom