Funny Baseball Jokes and Amusing Stories

Funny Baseball JokesFunny Baseball Jokes and Amusing Stories

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

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Ten Baseball Jokes Kindly Sent by David Sowards

  1. Billy Martin once had four doubles in a game, but then he ran out of liquor!
  2. One official made so many bad calls, he was nicknamed, "The Dumpire."
  3. One batter specialized in hit-and-run plays. His problem was that he used his car!
  4. Another player led his team in steals before he got nabbed for burglary.
  5. I used to collect bats, but I got rid of them when they started biting!
  6. One pitcher, Joe Niekro, was called the Little Shaver. That wasn't because he was short, but because of what he did to the balls!
  7. There once was a pitcher so bad, the crowd started singing Take Him Out of The Ball Game!
  8. One hit struck a chicken. Now that was a real "fowl ball!"
  9. Will Pete Rose get into the Hall of Fame? Well, maybe the Gambler's Hall of Fame or the Liar's Hall of Fame!
  10. Once, when Bush was president, he went to a game and they asked him if he wanted to throw out the First Pitch. He agreed and tossed Laura out onto the field!

Mother Knows Best

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.  When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.  A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way!

See more 'Mother Knows Best'

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Yogi Berra Funny Baseball SayingsFunny Baseball Jokes

Yogi Berra it has to be said developed a style of homespun humor all of his own.  It's also worth remembering that Yogi was a baseball legend with New York Yankees back in the 1950's.  And he still holds the record for winning the most World Series.

  • Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.
  • Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?
  • It's like déjà vu all over again.
  • It ain't over 'til it's over.
  • Never answer an anonymous letter.
  • His wife Carmen asked Yogi where he would like to be buried, to which he replied, "Surprise me!"
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More Funny Baseball Jokes

Clean, Funny and Amusing Baseball Jokes and Stories

Intro
At Jack Russell Stadium in Clearwater, Florida, on June 26th 1985, organist Wilbur Snapp played "Three Blind Mice" following a call by umpire Keith O'Connor.  The umpire was not amused, and saw to it that Mr. Snapp was ejected from the game.

Say It Again
After being snubbed from the All-Star game by Boston manager Darrell Johnson, Baltimore's Jim Palmer claimed he was misquoted for calling Johnson an idiot.

'I did not call Johnson an idiot. Someone else did and I just agreed,' Palmer said.

Foul Play?
Pirates manager Danny Murtaugh couldn't resist a jab at Dick Stuart.  After the public address announcer warned fans that "Anyone who interferes with the ball in play will be ejected from the ballpark," Murtaugh replied, 'I hope Stuart doesn't think that means him.'

Ruth or DiMaggio?
Bill walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, 'You can't bring that dog in here.'

'You don't understand,' says Bill. 'This is no regular dog, he can talk.'

'Listen, pal,' says the bartender. 'If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks.'
Bill puts the dog on a stool, and asks him,
'What's on top of a house?'
'Roof!'Baseball funny stories

'Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?'
'Bark!'

'And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?'
'Ruth!'

'I guess you've heard enough,' says the man. 'I'll take the hundred in twenties.'

The bartender is furious, 'Listen, pal,' he says, 'get out of here before I belt you.'  As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to Bill and says, 'Bill, do you think I should have said "DiMaggio"?'

Golf and Baseball

It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. 
I did it in one afternoon on the golf course:
Babe Ruth

See more golf jokes

More Funny Baseball Stories

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Ross Knows His Tables

One morning in elementary school, the students were going to a geography class. The teacher wanted to show the students where cities and states are.

The teacher asks the class, 'Does anyone know where Pittsburgh is?'

Francis raises up his hand and says, 'Yeah, Pennsylvania.'
The teacher replies, 'Very good, Francis, now can anyone tell me were Detroit is?'

Rachel raises her hand and says, 'That's in Michigan.'
The teacher again says, 'Very good, Rachel.'

Trying to confuse the children, she now asks, 'Where's Kansas City?'
Ross raises his hand and says, 'Oh, oh, pick me, I know?'

The teacher says, 'OK, Ross where is Kansas City?'
'Last place.'

Top Ten Interesting Baseball Facts and TriviaBaseball Army

  1. Fidel Castro was once a star baseball player for the University of Havana, Cuba.
  2. In 1965, the minimum annual salary for a baseball player was $6,000, just a thousand dollars more than it had been in 1947.
  3. A regulation baseball has 108 stitches.
  4. The very first baseball game was played on 19th June 1845, across the Hudson River in Hoboken, New York, USA.
  5. In baseball, a "can of corn" refers to a fly ball that is easy to catch.
  6. Robert Redford attended the University of Colorado on a baseball scholarship.
  7. In July 1934, Babe Ruth paid a fan $20 dollars for the return of the baseball he hit for his 700th career home run.
  8. In an effort to sell more licensed apparel, minor-league baseball teams were changing their names so often that the sport's governing body now limits franchises to team name changes every three years. Please note Premier League Soccer in the UK say Will and Guy.
  9. The Metropolitan Museum of Art, in New York, houses the largest collection of baseball cards: 200,000.
  10. The first perfect nine innings baseball game was achieved by John Lee Richmond on 12th June 1880.

Funny Baseball Player's Names

Cecil Fielder and his son Prince Fielder.  (True)

Ever wonder what type of equipment the top MLB players are using?  Check out the latest line of Nike baseball gear online.

Another Funny Baseball Joke

The Baseball Supporter

'I am a Yankees fan,' a first-grade teacher explains to her class. 'Who likes the Yankees?'

Everyone raises a hand except one little girl. 'Janie,' the teacher says, surprised. 'Why didn't you raise your hand?'

'I'm not a Yankees fan.'

'Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then what team do you like?'
'The Red Sox,' Janie answers.

'Why in the world are you a Red Sox fan?'
'Because my mom and dad are Red Sox fans.'

'That's no reason to be a Red Sox fan,' the teacher replies, annoyed. 'You don't always have to be just like your parents. What if your mom and dad were morons? What would you be then?'

'A Yankees fan.'

Further Amusing and Fascinating Baseball Facts

  • In 1897, the Washington Senators became the first baseball team ever to introduce "Ladies' Day."
  • Baseball star Babe Ruth was born George Herman Ruth.  He played in 2503 games and had a lifetime batting average of .342.
  • Mike Schmidt earned the first $500,000 salary in baseball in 1977.
  • When the National League first started in 1876, pitchers had to pitch underhand and the batter could request a high or low pitch. Strikes only occurred if the batter swung and missed.
  • In 1910 the cork centre was added to the official baseball.
  • Cal Ripken Jr., shortstop for the Baltimore Orioles, didn't miss a game in 16 years.
  • The American Baseball League was formed in 1882. Giants baseball catcher Roger Bresnahan introduced shin guards in 1907.
  • In 1885 the baseball bat was allowed to have one flat side.
  • In 1876 an umpire was allowed to asked spectators and players whether a catch had been fairly made if he did not see it himself.
  • Previous to 1931, fly balls that bounced over or through the outfield fence were considered home runs.
  • The New York Yankees have won more World Series titles than any other team with 26.
  • Barry Bonds holds the single-season home run record with 73.

 

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