Welsh Jokes
Welsh Jokes
The idea of this page is to give you a flavour of Welsh, dry, wry, self-deprecating humour.
Three Englishmen and a Welshman
Three Englishman walk into a bar and spot a Welshman sitting alone at a table.
One
fellow said to the others, 'Let's pick a fight with that Welshman over there.'
His partner replied, 'Wait, we don't want to be arrested. Let's make him start the fight.'
The third Englishman said,
'Wait here chaps. I know how to do it.'
He went over to the Welshman and said, 'St David was a flippin' sissy.'
To this the Welshman replied, 'Ah well you don't say!' and calmly resumed drinking
his beer.
The second Englishman now tried his luck and said to the Welshman, 'St David was a stupid fool that wore a dress!'
The Welshman again replied, 'You're very sharp, you don't say!' and
calmly resumed drinking his beer.
The last Englishman told his friends he knew how to rile the Welshman and bounced up to the table and yelled, 'St David was an Englishman!'
The Welshman replied, calmly, 'That's what your mates were trying to tell me.'
Welsh Films
The Wizard of Oswestry
Trefforest Gump
Independence Dai
Haverfordwest Was Won
Cool Hand Look-you
Dial M For Merthyr
The Bridge on the River Wye
Breakfast at Taffynys
Look You Back in Bangor
A Fishguard Called Rhondda
See more Welsh Jokes based on Hollywood remakes
®
Never Forget You're Welsh
A farmer was out on his Welsh hillside tending his flock one day, when he saw a man drinking with a cupped hand from the stream which ran down from one of his fields. Realising the danger, he shouted over to the man, 'Paid a yfed y dwr! Mae'n ych-y-fi!' [Don't drink the water. It's disgusting!]
The man at the stream lifted his head and put a cupped hand to his ear, shrugged his shoulders at the farmer, and carried on drinking.
Realising the man at the stream couldn't hear him, the farmer moved closer, 'Paid a yfed! Dwr ych-y-fi! Defaid yn cachu yn y dwr!’ [Don't drink. Water's disgusting. Sheep poo in the water.]
Still the walker couldn't hear the farmer. Finally the farmer walked right up to the man at the stream and once again said again, 'Dwr yn ych-y-fi! Paid a'i yfed!'. [Water's disgusting. Don't drink it!]
'I'm dreadfully sorry my good man, I can't understand a word you say dear boy! Can't you speak English?' said the man at the stream in a Splendid English accent
'Oh I see', said the farmer, 'I was just saying, if you use both hands you can get more in........ !
Welsh Husbands
A Welsh lad came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play.
'Wonderful, 'replies his mother, 'what part is it?'
The boy says, 'I play the part of the Welsh husband.'
The mother scowls and says, 'Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part.'
Footnote
As a Welsh husband myself, I can vouch for the truth of the above scenario.
See more Saints Days and other special days :
● Special Days ● St David's Day ● St Patrick's Day ● St George's Day ● St Andrew's ● Home
● Burns Night ● Up-Helly-Aa ● Groundhog ● Shrove Tue ● Candlemas ● Lady Day ● May Day
● 4th July ● Bastille Day ● St Swithin's ● Lammas ● Labor Day ● Michaelmas ● Remembrance
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