There are a few dates that Will and Guy would like to clear up concerning
Mother's Day. In the USA, Easter has nothing to do with fixing the
date of Mother's Day, it's always the second Sunday in May for American mums
- May 12th in 2013.
The timing is different in the UK where Mothering Sunday is the third
Sunday before Easter, this will be on the 10th of March in 2013.
After putting her children to bed, Jacqui changes into her old jeans and
a worn out blouse and proceeds to wash her hair. As she hears the children
getting more and more noisy in their bedroom, her tolerance grows thin. At
last Jacqui wraps a towel around her wet head and storms into their room,
putting them back to bed and giving them severe warnings. While leaving the
room, she overhears her three-year-old say in a shaky voice, 'Who was
Edward, a big-game hunter, goes on safari in Kenya with his wife, Frances
and his mother-in-law, Agnes. One evening, while still deep in the
jungle, Frances awakes to find her mother, Agnes, has disappeared. Rushing
to Edward, she insists on them both trying to find her mother.
Sighing heavily, Edward picks up his rifle and starts to search for
Agnes. Soon, in a clearing not far from the camp, they come upon a
Agnes, the mother-in-law is backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush,
and a large male lion is standing facing her. Frances cries out in panic,
Edward, what are we going to do?'
explains Edward calmly. 'Absolutely nothing, my dearest. The lion got
himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.'
See more Mother-in-law jokes
4 Years Of Age - My mummy can do anything. 8 Years Of Age
- My mum knows a lot. 12 Years Of Age - My mother doesn't really know
quite everything. 14 Years Of Age - Naturally, mother doesn't know that,
either. 16 Years Of Age - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned. 18
Years Of Age - That old woman? She's way out of date. 25 Years Of Age -
Well, she might know a little bit about it. 35 Years Of Age - Before we
decide, let's get mum's opinion. 45 Years Of Age - Wonder what mum would
have thought about it. 65 Years Of Age - Wish, I could talk it over with
My mother taught me RELIGION. "You'd better pray that will
come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten
up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean
underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you
something to cry about."
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at
that dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours
looks as if a tornado went through it."
My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like
My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we
My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get
it when you get home!"
My mother taught me HUMOUR. "When that lawn mower cuts off
your toes, don't come running to me."
My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age,
My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have
kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".
Mother's Day and Mothers' Day - No Joke!
Regarding the use of the apostrophe, our logic is that we
remember one's mother, thus Mother's Day. In British English, as opposed to
American English, it's also possible for a group of people to celebrate their Mothers' Day.
While this usage of the apostrophe is grammatically correct in England, it's
not in common usage.