grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is that they have a common
enemy. - Sam Levenson
My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or
three hours with them, I believe it, too. - Gene Perret
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel
completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which
is why most grandparents flee to Florida. - Dave Barry
One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the
finger of a grandfather. - Joy Hargrove
Two things I dislike about my granddaughter - when she won't take her
afternoon nap, and when she won't let me take mine. - Gene Perret
My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who
work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first
group; there was less competition there. - Indira Gandhi
The average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he
will brag a little if he discovers that his great-grandfather was a pirate.
- Bern Williams
My grandfather is the king, my Dad's the prince. I guess that makes me
the butler. - Adam Petty
eldest boy liked nothing better than to sit on his grandfather's
knee and have stories read to him. One day after a
story about Noah's
ark, and how Noah led pairs of animals to the safety of the ark.
The little boy asked, 'Granddad, you are very old, were you in Noah's
Gosh no', said Granddad.' In that case, how come you didn't
drown when the flood came?'
The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure
you're not raising them right.
Collection of Grandparents' Day Jokes and Funny Stories
When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her
toe nails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when
his hands got arthritis too. That's love.
James, a young boy of 6, turned to his Grandfather and says, 'When you
die, Grampy, I don't want your money. Please will you leave me your
[As told to Will by George, an old and valued friend who has a monumental
Grandpa's Computer Memory
My grandfather has recently started a course called 'Computers for the
Terrified.' He's nearly eighty and, although used to be an engineer within
the US Air Force, he is completely stuck when it comes to computers.
He came back from his first evening at this course. When asked how it had
gone, he replied, 'Yes, it was really good. I really enjoyed it, but I
really couldn't get to grips with my mole.'
I stopped for a second, completely puzzled, until I realised he was
talking about the mouse.
You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather
My grandfather started walking five miles a day when he was
60.........................Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he
Mother Knows Best - Eventually
One day, young Sarah girl was watching her mother make a roast sirloin of
beef. She cut off the ends, wrapped it in string, seasoned it and set it in
the roasting dish.
Sarah politely asked her mum why she cut off the ends of the roast. Mum
replied, after some thought, that it was the way that her mother had done
That night grandma came to dinner and Sarah and her mother asked why she
had cut the end off of the roast before cooking. After some thought grandma
replied, she cooked the meat the way her mother had done it.
Now great-grandma was quite old and lived in a residential nursing home,
so Sarah, her mum and grandma went to visit her and again asked the very
Great-grandma looked at them a bit surprised and said, 'So it would fit
in the roasting dish, of course.'
Never have children, only grandchildren. Gore Vidal
Grandma Quinn is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. Her
granddaughter Jacqueline Pearson, who lives in Boston, Massachusetts, USA,
sent Will and Guy this letter and asked that it be put on the site.
We have to admit, this story had Will laughing out loud.
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk
if you love Jesus ' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that
day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by
a thunderous prayer meeting.
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought
about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked,
I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus! While
I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he
leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!' 'Go! Go! Go!
Jesus Christ, GO!'
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those
loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny
way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young
teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a
Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and
gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted
to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light
had changed. So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove
on through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them
after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for
such wonderful folks!
Someone to sigh with Someone to cry with, To be through smiles and
woes Someone to talk with Someone to walk with Wherever a path in
life goes, A Grandma is a Treasure, An all around pleasure, To
share with, to care with, and love Wrapped with affection, And made to
perfection, A Grandma is a gift from above
Dear grandma you're all alone no one by your side grandpa has
left you leaving his loved one behind your feeling isolated
sometimes agitated please be strong bcoz allah will be on your side
you're in my tahujjed prayers pray 4 u that allah gives u health and make
u strong and pious and gives u patients but most of all grant u
longlife, peace and happiness insallah
Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events. The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in
The Grandma replied, 'Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:
'---------- polio shots
'---------- frozen foods
'---------- contact lenses
'---------- Frisbees and
'---------- the pill
There was no:
'---------- credit cards
'---------- laser beams or
'---------- ball-point pens
Man had not invented:
'---------- air conditioners
'---------- clothes dryers
'---------- and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air
'---------- man hadn't
yet walked on the moon
Your Grandfather and I got married first, . . and then lived together! Every family had a father and a mother! Until I was 25, I called every man
older than me, 'Sir'. And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'Sir.'
We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, day-care centers, and group therapy.
Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense! We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.
Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege. We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent!
Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your
Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started!
Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.
I bet you have this old lady in mind...you are in for a shock!