Funny Pictures: 'No' Signs Allowed

Will and Guy's Funny Pictures: 'No Signs Allowed

These funny signs make Will and Guy think: who put them there, are the signs real or fake.  Is the resulting image funny, offensive, or just plain stupid.  Amongst these 'No' signs allowed is something for everyone.No Signs

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You Would Never Guess What This Pipe Sign Says!

Penguins - no diving notice

What The Pipe Sign Says:

Penguins - no diving notice

Do Not Climb Play On, And Around Pipe.No Dancing Access

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No DivingIce Unavailable - Silly Sign

Penguins - no diving notice

No Puffin!No Puffin No Puffin

Sailors call the Atlantic puffin "clown of the sea".  This one is just jesting.

Atlantic puffins often live for 20 years, but not if they smoke!  The oldest known puffin was 29 years old.

Atlantic puffins spend much of their lives at sea. They are amphibious being able to fly through the air other birds, but they can use those stubby wings as paddles and steer using their webbed feet rather like a boat's rudder.

See more about the real Atlantic puffin.

Whitebeam 'No Parking' TreeNo Parking Tree

A newly discovered species of tree has been named 'No Parking'. What happened was the National Museum of Wales set about finding new species, or sub-species of trees. They discovered a new whitebeam and named it 'Sorbus no parking'.

The team did not confine their search to Wales and they found this new tree growing in a layby at Watersmeet in North Devon, UK.  As this was a layby, a local official had once nailed a 'No Parking' sign to the trunk of this particular tree.

When they listed the no parking whitebeam in Watsonia, the official journal of the Botanical Society of the British Isles, they chickened out and called it Sorbus admonitor (Admonish tell-off).

Two anniversaries coincided with this search for new species in March 2009, the bicentenary of Charles Darwin's birth and the 150th anniversary of the publication of his seminal work 'Origin of the Species' in 1859.

Worse Still - No Wheelchair Access

No Wheelchair Access

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Special Offer - No Fuel

Special Offer - No fuel

Entrance Only - Do Not Enter

Here is another funny picture of a notice that defies logic.  Therefore, we deduce that these signs are genuine.Entrance Only Sign

Entrance only - do not enter!

A classic stupid notice.  Will and Guy muse, how much to sign-writers mistakes cost the economy.  But we don't dwell on this philosophy for long, we are too keen so seek out more funny 'No signs'.

No Entry - Or Two Way Traffic?

No entry sign

This confusing combination of signs reminds Guy of driving in Spain, every side-street  seemed 'No Entry', the signs conspired to lock me into the city centre.

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Three Amusing and Funny "Not Allowed" StoriesAmusing Not Allowed

1) Crazy Regulation

Anchorage regulated......Placing of dead bodies is not allowed.

Notice right, seen in Bretagne, [Brittany] France.

2)  Australian Male

An Australian male was barred from boarding a London-Melbourne flight unless he removed a T-shirt depicting George Bush as the world's number one terrorist.

Later the same day the same man was prevented from catching a connecting flight within Australia unless he removed the T-shirt.

3) Teachers Not Up to Speed

Teachers "not allowed" to chase four-year-old school runaway: because of health and safety risk!

St Mary's Roman Catholic Primary School in Richmond, London, England claim that running after a child is "dangerous".

...(videVfl2)

It's being called a "safe handling policy," but the extraordinary health and safety rule which has enabled an inquisitive four-year-old boy to repeatedly wander out the school playground is enough to give any parent nightmares. On four occasions since the start of term a youngster has walked out of school grounds during break time to explore the outside world.

 Each time he has apparently been spotted by the supervising member of staff.  Instead of grabbing or running after him to bring him back, the teacher has had to "track" the youngster on foot to ensure he comes to no harm and they have to ring the police so officers can stop him. On one occasion two young children were followed as they walked near a busy main road and five police vehicles turned up to pick them up claimed one lady. 'It's crazy,' she said, 'an adult could easily catch up with him and safely restrain him. But apparently it is school policy not to grab them.'

Acting head teacher responded, 'We have a positive safe handling policy that allows us to use reasonable action. However it can be dangerous to chase after a child because often it makes them run faster.'

Will and Guy wonder how fast a four year old is able to run.

'No Signs Allowed' - The King of the Pack

No Signs Allowed

I wonder how this photo was composed.  Could it be a genuine picture?  Posed scene, or do we suspect software enhanced?  Our conclusion is this a genuine funny picture: 'No Signs Allowed'.

Variation on 'No Signs Allowed' - Obey This Sign

Obey This Sign

No Bottom Washing

...(v3r)

Obey This Sign

Where did this 'No' sign come from?  A launderette?  A fishing pond? 

The truth:
Sign seen at a boat launching ramp in Hingham, Massachusetts, USA.  

No Way José No Way Jose

This regularly used expression means: absolutely not; never. Apparently, we learn that this slang expression originated in the USA sometime around the 1960's.

One early example can be found in from The Washington Post, dated December 1979: 'I've got nothing against robots. But no way, José, is this guy going to win.'

More Nonsense

Tired of constantly being broke, and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife (with himself as the beneficiary), and arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure, who went by the name of ' Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was 5,000 quid. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

...(videoG2)

Artie insisted on being paid SOMETHING up front. The man opened up his wallet, displaying the single pound coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the quid as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco. There, he surprised her in the produce department, and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath, and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene. Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless husband. And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline declared:

'ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT TESCO.'

And to Finish - Nothing Happened!

 Nothing happened

 

Footnote:
Please send us your funny "No Signs Allowed".

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