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Aircraft and Funny Pilots Jokes

Aircraft and Funny Pilots Jokes

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Basic Rules for Flying

Basic Flying Rules for all pilots:

  1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
  2. Do not go near the edges of it.
  3. The edges of the air can be recognised by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
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Tower to Cessna - What's your location

Cessna: 'Warren tower, Cessna 37245, student pilot, I am out of fuel.'

Tower: 'Roger Cessna, 37245 reduce airspeed to best glide. Do you have the airfield in sight?'

Cessna: 'Um.........tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is.'

Control Tower to Pilot

PQ872: 'Tower, give me a rough time-check.'
Tower: 'It's Thursday, sir.'

Pilot: '...Tower, please call me a fuel truck.'
Tower: 'Roger. You are a fuel truck.'

Pilot: 'Ground, LH-line 201, requesting start-up."
Tower: 'Sorry, LH-line 201, we don't have your flight plan. What is your destination?'

Pilot: 'To Edinburgh, like every Wednesday.'
Tower: 'But today is Thursday!'
Pilot: 'WHAT? But Thursday's our day off.'

Tower: 'You have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles.'
Pilot: 'Give us another hint, we have digital watches.'

Ground Control: '476WB, bear to the left, disabled aircraft on the right.'
Pilot: '476WB, Roger, I have the disabled aircraft in sight, but I don't see the bear yet.'

Noisy Kite?

A RAF [Royal Air Force] engineering officers joke:

What's the difference between a fighter pilot and his aircraft?
'The plane stops whining when you shut down the engines.'

Crash Report

My wife started taking flying lessons about the time of our divorce and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in a rural area because of bad weather.

The CAA (Civil Aviation Authority) issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: She was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.

The report stated that the absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board.

No one on the ground was injured.

The photograph below was taken at the scene and shows the extent of damage to her aircraft.

She was very lucky ...

Broom Craft

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