Funny Lion Pictures
Funny Pictures of Lions and Other Big Cats
Here is Will and Guy's collection of amusing lion pictures and jungle stories.
Good photo - being kissed by a real lion is a little unusual.
My mother used to talk of a 'Cow lick', meaning a hair parting, but a lion lick that's something else.
These pictures brought to mind a memory from many years ago. In my home town of Chesterfield, England an act came to the local Circus which involved a scantily dressed young lady; she laid down on a stage with a lump of raw meat on her nose. The Lion then came on, stood over her, and licked the lump of meat from her face. John Cuttriss.
Brian, just out of school, starts a new job at Whipsnade Wild Animal Park, Dunstable, Bedfordshire, UK and is given three tasks to complete as part of his probationary period.
First he has to clear the weeds from the exotic fish pool. As Brian does this, a piranha jumps out and bites him. In a panic, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employers won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of cleaning out the primate house, Brian is attacked by two aggressive chimpanzees, who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes wildly at the two chimps with his spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, of course, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
Brian now moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American bees. As soon as he starts, he is attacked by a swarm of angry bees. He grabs the spade and smashes several of them to a pulp. He throws them into the lion enclosure, because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the Animal Park from Marwell Zoo, Winchester, UK. He wanders up to the other lion and asks, 'What's the food like here?'
The first lion replies, 'Absolutely superb, for example: today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees.'
A lion wakes up one morning feeling really grumpy and mean. He goes out and corners a small monkey and roars, 'Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?'
The trembling monkey answers, 'You are, mighty lion.'
Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, 'Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?'
The terrified ox stammers, 'Oh g-g-great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle.'
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, 'Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?'
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then tramples the lion till it looks like a pancake and wanders off. The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and shouts after the elephant, 'Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so angry about it.'
This joke is attributed to Margaret McVey, Bathgate, West Lothian, Scotland.
They make an most unlikely trio, but Baloo the bear, Leo the lion and Shere Khan the tiger have forged an unusually strong bond. Considering that they would be mortal enemies if they ever were to meet in the wild, it is stunning to see their unique and genuine friendship in these intimate pictures.
The three animals were rescued eight years ago during a police drugs raid in Atlanta, Georgia, USA, the three friends were only cubs at the time at barely two months old.
Will and Guy have discovered that the three all live together in a specially-built enclosure at Noah's Ark Animal Rescue Centre, in Georgia, USA.
Apparently kept as status symbol pets by the drug barons, they were delivered to the rescue centre where the decision was made to keep the youngsters together, because of their rapport.
Living with the zoo's founders for the past eight years, Shere Khan, Baloo and Leo have now moved to a purpose-built habitat where the US public can now witness first hand their touching relationships.
It is possible to see Baloo, who is a 1000lb bear, Shere Khan, a 350lb tiger and Leo, who is also 350lbs, messing around like brothers. They are totally oblivious to the fact that in any other circumstance they would not be friends.
Handled by Charles and Jama Hedgecoth, the zoo's owners and founders, the three friendly giants appear to have no comprehension of their animal differences.
'Baloo and Shere Khan are very close,' says Diane. 'That is because they rise early, and as Leo is a lion, he likes to spend most of the day sleeping. It is wonderful and magical to see a giant American Black Bear put his arm around a Bengal and then to see the tiger nuzzle up to the bear like a domestic cat. When Leo wakes up the three of them mess around for most of the day before they settle down to some food.'
Surprisingly for three alpha predators with the power to kill with a single bite or swipe of their paw, they are very relaxed around each other. 'They eat, sleep and play together,' said Jama. 'As they treat each other as siblings they will lie on top of each other for heat and simply for affection. At the moment they are getting used to their new habitat.'
The trio's new habitat cost an estimated £15,000 [$24,500 USD] and had to be constructed carefully, in order to accommodate its occupants. Jama added, 'The clubhouse had to be very sturdy for the guys, because they all sleep in it together.' She continued, 'We had to include a creek, because the tiger and the bear both like to be in water.'
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