Funny Haircut Pictures and Barber Jokes

Funny Haircut Pictures that Amuse Will and GuyFunny Haircut Pictures

Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts.
Jim Morrison

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Haircut Sir?

Haircut sir?  Strange barber shop

Akpos: How much to cut my hair?
Barber: 500 Naira
Akpos: How much do you charge for a shave?
Barber: 50 Naira
Akpos: Oya shave my hair!

Footnote:
Thanks to Mary Efemuaye for sending this joke.

Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs

Mary was flying from Dublin, Ireland, to Chicago; she had a problem with her luggage so she asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?'

'Of course child. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive hair dryer for my mother's birthday. It is unopened and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it because I cannot pay the 20% import duty.  Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me?  Hide it under your robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'  Said Mary.

When they got to the customs at O'Hare airport, she let the priest go first. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the customs officer said, 'Go ahead, Father'.

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Chinese Hairdresser Scalps Customers

Zhang Yi and Yuan Sha Sha went for a 38 yuan ($5) haircut at Baolou International Beauty Salon in Zhengzhou, China.  However, the barbers charged them an extortionate 12,000 yuan $1,700.

This was the last straw for the authorities, who had already received numerous complaints of over-charging.  They acted and fined hair salon 500,000 yuan ($75,000).   Furthermore, much to the delight of local residents, the Zhengzhou authorities closed down the salon.

Another Close Shave?

Close shave

There are lots of barbershops in America's Finest City, but you have to read reviews of San Diego barbershops to find the best one.

Akpos: How much do you cut hair?
Barber: 500 Naira
Akpos: How much do you shave?
Barber: 50 Naira
Akpos: Oya shave my hair!

Close Encounter with a Lawn Mower

»

Lawn mower scalping

See more funny hairstyles

Funny Barber JokesBarber Jokes

A priest goes into a barber's shop sits down, gets a good haircut, thanks the barber, and asks how much he owes him.

The barber says, 'Father, you're a holy man, a man of the cloth there is no charge you.'

The priest blesses the barber and says, 'Thank you very much' and goes about his business. The next day, 10 gold coins magically appear on the barber's doorstep.

A few days later, a Buddhist monk goes in for a shave and a shine, and when the time comes to pay the barber says, 'No money, please, you're a spiritual leader, a man of the people, it's on the house.'

The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep are 10 magnificent rubies.

The following week a rabbi comes in, gets a haircut, goes to pay and the barber says, 'No, Rabbi, you are a learned man, a wise man, I can't take any money from you, go in peace.'

Then the next day, the barber opens his shop to find 10 Rabbis waiting for a haircut.

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Blue-rinse Meets Mohican

Funny Hair and Beauty Shop NamesFunny Hairstyle - Flower Power

  • Cut & Face (Beauty salon)
  • Hair Force One (Hair salon)
  • Let's Face It (Dermal / facial shop)
  • Wash Your Problem (Laundry shop)

See 10 more funny haircuts

A Bad Hair Day?Bad Hair Day

Berlin - A German man drank too much, wet his bed and set fire to his apartment while trying to dry his bedding, police in the western town of Muelheim said on Monday.

'He was too drunk to go to the toilet, 'said a police spokesman.' The next morning he put a switched-on hairdryer on the bed to dry it and left the apartment.' When the 60-year-old returned, his home and belongings were in flames.'

Firemen eventually put out the blaze.

As reported by the Reuters News Agency

Another Bad Hair Day?

Alan walks in to the barbershop.

...(v2r)

The barber says, 'What will it be today?'
Alan replies says, 'Well I want it going with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of shape and messed up.'

The barber answers frowning, 'Now why in the world do you want your hair cut like that?'
Alan says, 'That's how you cut it last time.'

In a Dayton barbershop:
"During vacation of owner, a competent hair stylist will be here."

Good Hair Day?

Free Whisky Haircut

Barber Shop in Glasgow, Scotland.

Another Barber Joke

Paul enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

'I have just the thing,' says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. 'Just place this between your cheek and gum.'

Paul places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. 'And what if I swallow it?'

No problem,"' says the barber. 'Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does.'

Old Barber Jokes

Enoch Powell
One of UK politician, the late Enoch Powell's most famous quips was prompted by an encounter with the resident House of Commons barber: a notoriously chatty chap, who enjoyed treating captive clients to his views on politics and the state of the world.

When Powell went in for a trim, the barber asked the standard question: "How should I cut your hair, Sir?"

"In silence," was Powell's instant riposte.   

[Will and Guy concur with Enoch on a nice quiet haircut]

Ancient Rome Barber
A barber, an absent minded professor and a bald man go on a long journey together and have to camp out overnight so they decide to take it in turns to watch the luggage. The barber volunteers for the first watch while the other two sleep but soon gets bored so he decides to pass the time by shaving the professor's head. When his shift is up he wakes the professor who pats his head and exclaims, 'God, that barber is a real idiot, he's woken up baldy instead of me.'  See more ancient history jokes.

Chinese Style Haircut

Don't feed the bearsA man gets a haircut featuring Tiananmen Gate at a barbershop, to commemorate the 60th anniversary [1949] of the founding of the People's Republic of China, in Zhengzhou, Henan.

Footballers Exchange Hair Tips

Bad haircuts

Footnote
Please send us your barber jokes and funny haircut pictures.

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