Guy's Lawn Mower Saga
Guy's
Lawn Mower Saga 
- Guy's Lawn Mower
- How Guy Deals with Grass Cuttings
- Final Resting Place for the Big Grass Cuttings
- Lawn Mowing Jokes
Bill, my next door neighbor has a drive-on mower and I wanted something to rival his machine.
Easter always marks the beginning of the lawn mowing season. However, I always wait until May, when the grass is good and long before I start cutting. Over the winter I have been making a few modifications for easier grass cutting.
1) Guy's Lawn Mower
Above is my pride and joy - or my coup de grace. (See more Franglais)
1a) Guy once had a Chinese gardener
No Entrance to Greenland (See more Engrish)
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2) How Guy Deals with Grass Cuttings
3) Final Resting Place for the Big Grass Cuttings
What fun you can have moulding a haystack.
4) Keep Kids Off Your Lawn
Only in America.....
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5) Lawn Mowing Jokes
5a) 'My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.'
5b) Kevin and Bill were talking one day. 'My wife
asked me to buy organic vegetables from the greengrocer's,' said Kevin.
'So were you able to find some?" enquired Bill.
'Well when I got to the shop, I asked the manager, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?'' Kevin continued, 'The shopkeeper told me, 'No, you'll have to do that yourself.''
5c) One afternoon a rich man was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, 'Why are you eating grass?'
'We don't have any money for food,'
the poor man replied. 'We have to eat grass.'
'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you,' the rich man said.
'But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there,
under that tree.'
'Bring them along,' the rich man replied. Turning to the other poor man he announced, 'You come with us, also.'
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife
and six children with me.'
'Bring them all, as well,' the rich fellow answered.
They all climb in the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor
fellows turned to the rich gent and said, 'Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.'
The rich man replied, 'Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high.'
See more funny lawn pictures, jokes, tales and stories
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