Will and Guy's Graveyard Humour
Cemetery Sign from Other Directions
Confused? Will and Guy Are
Firstly there is that no right turn 150 yards. Then there is the arrow pointing to an entry for the Cemetery Hospital. How DO you get in?
Then when you get in where do you go? Out Patients - or Casualty?
I must admit that I have never seen a 'Sleeping Prohibited' sign, therefore I deduce that someone has cleverly faked the word sleeping in the above picture.
John is dying. However, he can smell his favorite chocolate nut brownies cooking downstairs. John summons all the strength that he has left, he flops out of bed and crawls downstairs. He sees the brownies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As John reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled old hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells:
'No John, you can't have those! They're for the funeral!'
Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 2013 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you.
You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.
American Graveyard Humor - Funny Gravestones
Gravestone near Uniontown, Pennsylvania, USA:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
Epitaph in cemetery at Girard, Pennsylvania, USA:
In loving memory of Ellen Shannon, aged 25,
A Cemetery in Ruidoso, Lincoln County, New Mexico, USA, has this:
In a Cemetery in Thurmont, Frederick County, Maryland, USA:
Here lies an Atheist
Found in a cemetery in Albany, New York, USA:
Found in La Pointe, Wisconsin, USA:
To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu
Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood cemetery, Richmond, Virginia, USA:
She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her.
Found in Elmwood cemetery, Burlington, Vermont, USA:
She lived with her husband fifty years
Iris Benbow, recently widowed, requested the epitaph 'Rest in Peace' on her husband's gravestone.
When Iris later found that he had left all his money to his mistress, she
attempted to get the mason to change the carving. This proved impossible as
the words had been chiselled by a stonemason and could not be changed.
Scottish Graveyard Humour
Archie, an old Scottish gravedigger was asked how business was. Archie replied, 'Oh, very poorly, very poorly indeed. I havena' buried a livin' soul for six weeks.'
Annie, an elderly Scots lady, lay dying. She looked up and asked her husband if he would do her just one small favour before she went. 'Fergus,' she asked, 'on the day o' the funeral I'd like ye tae ride in the same coach as ma mother.'
To which Fergus replied, 'A' richt, Annie. I'll dae that tae please ye. But ye've completely spoilt the day for me.'
I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. - Sir Winston Churchill
I don't speak to my friend Edward any more since he shortened his name - he's Ted to me now. - Aaron Rice
[He's dead to me now!]
In Ribbesford cemetery, near Bewdsley, Worcestershire, England
Rodney Dangerfield Says:
Try climbing those stairs
Meanwhile Back Outside We Have Deep Excavations
It wasn't the cough, that carried him off. It was the coffin they carried him off in.
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