Doctor's Funny Advice on Drinking
Will and Guy's Humour - Doctor's Funny Advice on Drinking
Doctor's Advice - Only One Glass a Day
Sometimes your doctor's advice is hard to swallow - but not on this occasion.
Will's Doctor says: Only 1 glass of alcohol a day. I like Will's choice of a glass - stylish.
I can honestly say that I have never seen such a big glass, I wonder if you can get a set of six or even two?
Will's drinks cabinet is famous. He calls it 'Foley'. The reason that we have a friend who answers to that name, he's short fat and full of booze.
Guy's cabinet is more a Barker. Barker is another friend who is long and thin and rarely has contains any booze - at least these days.
For once, none of these names have been changed to protect the guilty.
More Funny Drinking Advice
Men caught drinking alcohol by their wives in an Indian village now face being slapped across the face by their wives' slippers.
A committee of women at Japalli, in Andhra Pradesh, introduced the punishment in a bid to 'curb the menace of liquor', reports the Press Trust of India.
Any married man discovered drinking will be hauled up before village elders and slapped five times with his wife's leather slipper in front of local residents. They will also be fined the equivalent of £64. The fines will be handed over to the offenders' wives to spend as they see fit.
The women decided on the tough new measures after their attempts to close local liquor stores ended in failure.
Will was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whisky curled up and died.
'All right, son', asked Will, 'what does that show you?'
'Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.'
What's Your Poison?
In Queensland, Australia, a lifeguard decided that he needed a drink while he was working, so he went to the club house and drank some 'lemonade' from a bottle. The lemonade was in fact a sample bottle filled with the tentacles of the deadly box jelly fish. The lifeguard survived, just!
Terry Markland and his friend Ken Stokes left the Royal Navy in 1993 after several years of serving together. They were well used to having a glass or two of ale together at the end of a long working day. On leaving the RN, Terry went to live in Plymouth and his friend returned to his home area of Newcastle. They promised each other that whenever they went out for a beer they would order two pints at a time as a way of remembering their friendship.
Terry drank for many years in The Star in Plymouth and each day at 1800 hours he would order and drink 2 pints of bitter. Dermot, the landlord, commented to Terry on this practice and Terry naturally told him the story. This went on for some 13 years, every day.
Last week Terry entered The Star and only ordered one pint of bitter.
Shocked and a trifle worried and anxious, Dermot enquired whether Ken had passed away hence no need for the second pint.
'Oh no, 'replied Terry, 'I've given up drinking.'
Careful what you drink
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
Drinking or Yoga?
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