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The state nurse who is responsible for disseminating all key government information to schools in the Grenoble area of France, in the event of a bird-flu pandemic, is named Madame Claude Poulet. From Jon Henley's diary column in The Guardian.
Dennis, a carpet fitter, had just finished laying a carpet for Mrs Branch. He popped outside out for a smoke, only to realise that he had mislaid his cigarettes. He retraced his steps and saw in the middle of the room, under the carpet, what appeared to be a small lump.
'No sense in taking up the entire carpet for one pack of fags,' Dennis muttered to himself. So he took get out his hammer and flattened the hump with a couple of sharp blows.
Dennis began tidying up when Mrs Branch came into the room and handed him his cigarettes. 'I found them in the hallway.' she said, 'Now,' she continued, looking around the room imploringly, 'if only I could find the canary.'
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