Will and Guy's Wise Words
The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. Thomas Szasz
- One good turn gets the duvet.
- The early worm gets eaten!
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- There are two
theories to arguing with a woman. Neither theory works.
second mouse gets the cheese.
- Hotel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
- Never kick a fresh cowpat on a hot day.
- Even when I have pains, I don't
have to be one.
- When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on
it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
- To cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
Always listen to the old professionals, never work with children or animals, and certainly not both
at the same gig.
"Every five years or so, I look back on my life
and have a good
"My mother wanted us to understand that
the tragedies of your life
one day have
the potential to be comic stories in the next"
"You grow up the day you have your first real laugh ---
Please send in your wise words of wisdom for the above picture.
Here is our collection of wise quotes from the famous. Every occasion
will benefit from at least one of these pearls of wisdom.
I have long
been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have
kept more of it for themselves.
People want economy and they will pay
any price to get it.
An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.
You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure.
John D. Rockefeller
Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. -
There are no wise few. Every aristocracy that has ever existed has behaved,
in all essential points, exactly like a small mob.
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be
disappointed to discover they are not it.
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
Friends are far more dangerous than enemies, they know everything about
you and will not pause to use it against you.
Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. Speech was given to conceal thought.
Sir William Osler
A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
Sir Francis Bacon
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I
feel bad, and that is my religion.
See more funny quotations.
- The fool doth think he is wise
But a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
Shakespeare (As you like it)
- Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Pope.
- A fool walks in with his mouth open and his eyes shut.
- The fool chews chaff, while the cunning eat bread.
- Every fool has a goose that lays a golden egg - tomorrow.
- Silence is the virtue of fools. Sir Francis
- Never argue with a fool, people may not know the difference.
- There is no cure for a fool.
Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.
Patience is the companion of wisdom.
I prefer the errors of enthusiasm to the indifference of wisdom.
Failure teaches success.
- Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
- If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
- If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there
is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is
it considered a hostage situation?
- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
- Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
- Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
- I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've
forgotten this before.
- I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely
abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.
- Is atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
- If the plural of foot is feet, shouldn't the singular of sheep be
- If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the
- Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a
mistake when you make it again.
- Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never
cease to be amused.
- Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then
you don't have a leg to stand on.
- On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
- If you dig a hole for someone else, you'll fall into it. -
- If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met
- You never truly understand something until you can explain it to
- Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word
for word what you shouldn't have said.
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