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Funny Shop Signs

Here is a Select of Funny Shop Signs

One by-product of reading these funny signs, is that you will begin to see similar amusing or unintentional writing on the wall near where you live, or when you travel to work.

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Funny Shop Signs.  One-linersFunny Shop Signs

1) SIGN IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE:

Bargain basement upstairs

2) NOTICE SENT TO RESIDENTS OF A WILTSHIRE PARISH:

Due to increasing problems with litter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.

3) NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER's WINDOW:

Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

4) SIGN IN A LAUNDROMAT:

Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

5) IN AN OFFICE:

After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board

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6) Sign on motorway garage:Will and Guy's humour - elephant joke

PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS.
YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS

7)  Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

8) Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOORBlind Persons Crossing

9) Notice in a field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

10) Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

11) Sign on a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

12) Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

See more Toilet Humour - we have pictures!

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Another Type of Funny Shop SignBill Poster

Duck Surprise

Albert Einstein, 1879 - 1955

'Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.  That's relativity.'

'Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.'

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Footnote:
Please send us your pictures of funny signs, like the above One for the price of two!!

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See more pictures of funny road signs, featuring cars and street notices

Funny traffic signs   • Funny road signs   • Funny road signs UK   • Funny animal road signs

Pictures of stupid signs   • Funny car pictures   • Dyslexic signs   • Funny garbage   • Funny signs

Pointless signs   • Funny street signs   • Funny no parking signs   • Parking yellow lines   • 'No' signs