Funny Newspaper Headlines

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Funny Newspaper Headlines

Here is a selection of funny banner headlines. Once you alerted to the phenomenon, I guarantee that you will start seeing amusing headings in your newspaper headlines.

Funny Newspaper Headlines

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Eye Drops off Shelf
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Fire British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half New
Vaccine May Contain Rabies
College Opens Doors to Hearing
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Include your Children When Baking Cookies
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
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Out-Takes - Funny newspaper headlines that did not make our main joke list

'If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed.
If you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed. Mark Twain

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Air Head Fired Steals Clock, Faces Time
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash
Probe Told Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Drunken Drivers Paid £1000
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing Deaf

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Please send us your Funny Newspaper Headlines

For example, CB sent us this Newspaper item:
Wanted, member for vacant West Ward (Fool time position)

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed. Elbert Hubbard

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