God Talks with Eve
God AND Eve - From an Article in the Global Village
'God, I have a problem.'
'What's your problem Eve?'
'I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all these wonderful animals as well as that hilarious snake, but I'm just not happy, '
'And why is that Eve?'
'God, I am lonely and bored and I'm sick to death of apples.'
'Well Eve, in that case I shall create a man for you'
'Man? What is that, God?'
'A flawed base creature with many bad traits. he'll lie, cheat and be vain. He will revel in childish things. he'll be bigger than you and will like fighting, hunting and killing things. He won't be too smart so will need your advice to think properly. He will have a limited emotional capacity so will need to be trained. He will look silly when aroused, but since You've been complaining of boredom, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs and you need never be bored again.'
'Sounds great', said Eve but what's the catch, God'
'Well, you can have him on one condition.'
'And what's that, God?'
'As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring, so you'll have to let him believe I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret. You know, woman to woman.'
Original Article if you prefer this format.
Elisabeth arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeped through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table.Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.
They saw her and began calling greetings to her."Hello - How are you?""We've been waiting for you!" "Good to see you!"
When Saint Peter came by, Elisabeth said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?""You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her."Which word?" she asked.
Elisabeth correctly spelled 'Love', and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to Elisabeth and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.While she was guarding the Gates of Heaven, Gerry, her husband arrived.
"I'm surprised to see you," she said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, actually I've been doing pretty well since you died," Gerry told her."I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill.And then I won the multi-state lottery.I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a wonderful mansion.Then my wife and I travelled all around the world.We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today.I fell and hit my head, and here I am! What a disaster! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," Elisabeth told him.
"Which word?" Gerry asked.
If you like this page then please share it with your friends
See more clean religious jokes and funny stories: