More Funny Courtroom Exchanges

Funny Courtroom Exchanges

These funny courtroom exchanges are taken from a little book called ' Disorder in the Court' . They quote funny things people actually said in court, word for word.

True conversations between lawyers and witnesses

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.

Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing
A: Yes.

Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.

Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?

More funny courtroom exchanges between lawyers and witnesses

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.

See more lawyer jokes here

See more stupid lawyer jokes and funny courtroom exchanges

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