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Contestant Jokes

Will and Guy's good Clean Fun - Contestant Jokes

1) Anne Robinson - Weakest Link

Anne Robinson: Which Indian leader, whose last name began with ' G' took the title Mahatma?
Contestant: Geronimo  (Correct Answer Ghandi)

Anne Robinson: Which of the Marx Brothers remained silent throughout the movies?
Contestant: Karl  (Correct Answer Harpo)

Anne Robinson: Who was the only prisoner of Spandau Prison between 1966 and 1987?
Contestant: The Birdman of Alcatraz.  (Correct Answer Rudolf Hess)

2) Family Fortunes with Les Dennis

  • Name a bird with a long Neck?  Naomi Campbell
  • Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
  • Where is the Taj Mahal?  Opposite the Dental Hospital
  • What is Hitler's first name?  Heil
  • Some famous brothers?  Bonnie and Clyde.
  • A famous Royal?  Mail
  • A sign of the Zodiac?  April
  • Something you do before you go to bed?  Sleep
  • Something you put on walls?  A roof
  • Something slippery?  A conman
  • A kind of ache?  A fillet of fish

3) Chris Searle - BBC Bristol

Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Contestant: Japan
Chris Searle: In case you did not hear me say European, I can let you try again.
Contestant: Mexico?  (Correct Answer is Italy)

¤

4) Who killed Cock Robin?

Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin
Contestant: I did not know that he was dead.

Full poem as sung by my mother:Who killed cock robin?

'Who killed Cock Robin?' I, 'said the Sparrow, 'With my bow and arrow, I killed Cock Robin.' Who saw him die?' I, 'said the Fly, 'With my little eye, I saw him die.' Who caught his blood?' I, 'said the Fish, 'With my little dish, I caught his blood.' Who' ll make the shroud?' I, 'said the Beetle, 'With my thread and needle, I'll make the shroud.' Who' ll dig his grave?' I, 'said the Owl, 'With my pick and shovel, I'll dig his grave.' Who' ll be the parson?' I, 'said the Rook, 'With my little book, I'll be the parson.' Who' ll be the clerk?' I, 'said the Lark, 'If it's not in the dark, I'll be the clerk.' Who' ll carry the link?' I, 'said the Linnet, 'I'll fetch it in a minute, I'll carry the link.' Who' ll be chief mourner?' I, 'said the Dove, 'I mourn for my love, I'll be chief mourner.' Who' ll carry the coffin?' I, 'said the Kite, 'If it's not through the night, I'll carry the coffin.' Who' ll bear the pall?' We, 'said the Wren, 'Both the cock and the hen, we'll bear the pall.' Who' ll sing a psalm?' I, 'said the Thrush, 'As she sat on a bush, I'll sing a psalm.' Who' ll toll the bell?' I, 'said the bull, 'Because I can pull, I'll toll the bell.' All the birds of the air fell a-sighing and a-sobbing,
When they heard the bell toll for poor Cock Robin.

Bible Test


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This is not your average advert.  This site raises funds for the Church using an innovative win-win method.  I dare you to click and see how they do it.

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Will.

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Take another funny test:

List of Funny Tests  • Dementia jokes   • Culprit   • Easy   • Psychic   • For Drunks   • Reading test

Genuine know-all test   • Mensa   • Footballers Exam   • Dumb contestant jokes   • Puzzle  • Home

Lateral thinking   • More lateral thinking   • Lateral questions   • River Crossing   • Cool optical illusions


Good, clean, free jokes.  One-liners, short funny jokes.  Have a laugh, enjoy a chuckle, bring a smile to your face.  Will and Guy hope that you share our sense of humour (or humor).