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Smart Blonde Jokes

Will and Guy's Humour - Blonde Jokes

Blonde jokes are worthy of a thesis on sexist jokes.  As far and Will and Guy are concerned they were the first genre to make us think, 'Is this really funny', should we publish blonde jokes?  Indeed for a while we pulled all these dumb women jokes.

Three things happened to make us change our mind, occassionally dumb blonde jokes can be funny, then we discovered smart blonde jokes. Finally, there is the realization that in Western cultures women can now look after themselves  We have lots of dumb men jokes, so why not a few good dumb women jokes.

Blonde Jokes

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Smart Blonde JokeSmart Blonde Jokes

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will have to have some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Porsche 911 Cabriolet.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $120,000 Porche as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $14.27.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $14.27 and expect it to be there when I return?"

 
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Dumb Blonde JokeBlonde Joke how many ds in Indiana Jones

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview.  The brunette is the first one to go in, and after filling out the forms and going through the questions, the interviewer decides to ask her last question: 'How many D's are there in ' INDIANA JONES' ? The brunette thinks for a second and responds ' One' .  The interviewer sends her back with a promise that he'll get back to her after interviewing the remaining candidates.

The redhead is next. The process goes about the same, and at the end: 'How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES' ? She immediately says ' One' . The interviewer says, 'OK, we'll let you know'.  

Then the blonde comes into the room, goes through the questions, and finally gets asked: 'How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES' . She gets a very serious look on her face and starts counting her fingers, muttering: '2, 4, 6 ...., hmmm - wait,... 2, 4, 6 .... can I borrow your calculator please?'

After going through 15 minutes of intense calculating, she finally comes up with the answer: 'Thirty two' The interviewer is stunned and asks her: 'Ok, now tell me, how the hell did you arrive at this answer?' Plays D,ddd,dd,dddd,ddd,ddd,dd,ddddd,d,ddd,ddd

To hear her response to the question: 'How many D's are in Indiana Jones?' Click this speaker start arrow -->

Footnote 1:
One of Guy's few disappoints in life is not being able to play a musical instrument.  This musical void has extended to IT, I have always found wav, midi and woofers a complete mystery.  In fact Will's research has pushed me into this is first venture into embedding .wav files.

Blonde Jokes

Q: Why was the blonde so pleased when she completed her jigsaw puzzle in only 3 months?
A: Because on the box it said: From 3-5 years.

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Q: Why are blonde jokes short?
A: So that men can understand them!

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The Blonde and The MattressWoman Driver Mattress

A blonde woman driver ran over a mattress on I26 near Charleston. She decided not to worry and just kept on driving 80 miles to Lexington.

What happened was the mattress entwined around the driveshaft as it caught on the underside of her truck.

In fact the only thing that stopped her was that she ran out of petrol.  The springs from the mattress had torn a hole in her tank.

Air-Head Quotes

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."  - Mariah Carey

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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," - Brooke Shields.

During an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

  

Footnote 2:
Please send us your SMART blonde jokes

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