Funny Barbecue Jokes
Will and Guy's Humour - Funny Barbecue Jokes
After 4 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and Barbecue season. Therefore, it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the Barbecue, usually on a Saturday, the following chain of events is put into motion:
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
Here comes the important part:
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11) They tell good old Aussie barbie jokes like:
12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....
If the Barbecue catches fire then the man gets out the hosepipe.
Poor man's Barbecue
Rich man's Barbie
Q: Why don't the French Barbeque?
I was waiting at a customer services station at Asda when a woman in front of me was returning a disposable barbeque. When asked why she was returning the barbeque, she replied, 'There was no meat in in it.'
The shop assistant patiently explained that the disposable barbeque was simply to cook the meat and it did not include any food. Whereupon, the customer looked very embarrassed indeed.
The assistant checked the receipt and asked: 'There are 3 barbeques on here, are you returning the other two as well?
'I can't', said the woman, 'they are at home in the freezer'.
Debra Hails, Hartlepool.
An escaped convict has been recaptured at a party organised at the local police station. Police in Xinzhu city, Taiwan, invited residents to celebrate the Moon Festival with them. Officers could not believe their eyes when they saw an escaped drug dealer called Chen, who had just been listed as one of the city's most wanted criminals, at the party. Police officer Cai Zhengtong, who was in charge of the barbecue, said, 'I saw a man dressed in an eye-catching yellow windbreaker enter the place and sit in the corner. He was enjoying the barbecue with the others. I really couldn't believe my eyes, since the man was just the criminal we were seeking.'
Police at the party quickly arrested Chen. He told officers he thought it would have been the last place police would have thought of looking for him.
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