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15 Things it Took Will and Guy 50 Years to Learn

15 Things it Took Will and Guy 50 Years to Learn

Wisdom does not come cheap, therefore, I am not sure why Will and I are giving you these one line jokes for free.15 Things to learn

  1. Will and I have yet to find anybody who can give us a clear and compelling reason why we put the clocks forward every spring.
  2. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
  3. The one activity that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we EACH believe that we are above-average drivers.
  4. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
  5. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'
  6. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
  7. The main accomplishment of almost all organised protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
  8. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
  9. You should not confuse your career with your life
    (i.e., never confuse having a career with having a life!).
  10. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
  11. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
  12. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
  13. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
  14. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
  15. Your friends love you, anyway.
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15 Things You Probably Never Knew or Thought About

  1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
  2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
  3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. 15 Thing You Never Knew
  4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
  5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
  6. You mean the world to someone.
  7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
  8. You are special and unique.
  9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
  10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
  11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
  12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
  13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
  14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
  15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

Kindly Sent in by Niki

RelationsFunny story - relations

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep, 'the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

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