Funny Weekend Jokes
Will and Guy's Jokes for the Weekend
Jokes for the Weekend
Assorted Jokes and One-liners
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
What is the difference between a cello and a viola? A cello burns longer.
I was staying in a hotel and I saw a sign on the shower cap, it said: 'Fits one head only' .
Ronnie Barker Jokes
'The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies.'
'The prime minister held a meeting with the cabinet today. He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the chest of drawers.'
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
To cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
Saturday's child works hard for a living.
The Season Ticket
Iris was reading her Saturday newspaper, while her husband, Ben, was engrossed the magazine.
Suddenly, Iris burst out laughing. 'Listen to this, Ben,' she said, 'There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to *Stamford Bridge.'
'Hmmm,' Ben said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Iris asked, 'Would you swap me for a season
'How sweet, 'Iris continued, 'Tell me why not.?'
*Stamford Bridge is the stadium where Chelsea Football Club plays.
Sunday's child is wise and good.
Sun day, the day of God. The Latin translation is Dominica, hence Dimanche in French. Sunday still has an element of a day of rest. Therefore, it's only natural that our humour should change at the weekend. I see mellower jokes going down better at the weekend, a reminder of the movies, or the big game
Cartoon opposite is by Fitz
Silly Weekend Chant
Good, clean, free jokes. One-liners, short funny jokes. Have a laugh, enjoy a chuckle, bring a smile to your face. Will and Guy hope that you share our sense of humour (or humor).