Pumpkin Jokes and One-liners for Halloween

Funny Pumpkin Jokes and One-liners.   Also Pumpkin Stencils

• Pumpkin Jokes
• Speaking with Pumpkins
• Halloween Choir
• Classic Halloween Jokes
• Funny Pumpkin Pictures
• Champion Pumpkin Picture

Pumpkin Jokes

Why Pumpkins are better than Men?

Each year you get a brand new crop to choose from.  Also, they are always on the doorstep there waiting to greet you.

Speaking with Pumpkins

How do you address a pumpkin with three heads?

.

     Hello,      hello,        hello.

What did one jack-o-lantern say to the other?
Cut it out!

What is a pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash

Why do jack-o-lanterns have stupid smiles on their faces?
You'd have a stupid smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!

What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi  (3.1428571428571428571428571428571)

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite!

Halloween Pumpkin Choir

Classic Halloween Jokes

What kind of alley does a ghost prefer to haunt?
A dead end.

Why wasn't the vampire working?
He was on his coffin break.

What's a ghosts favourite ride at the carnival?
The roller ghoster

What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
Fasten your sheet belt.

Pumpkin Ghost Rider

More Halloween Jokes

What is a vampires favourite type of ship?
A blood vessel.

What was a witch's favourite subject when they were in school?
Spelling!

What musical instrument does a skeleton play?
A trombone.

Why don't skeletons like parties?
They have no body to dance with.

Why did the mummy call the doctor?
Because her baby was coffin.

Funny Pumpkin Pictures

See how to make a Jack-o-Lantern

Pumpkin and Halloween Stencils

Here two pumpkin stencils which you can print out, the pictures enlarge if you click on them.

Real Champion Pumpkin Picture

Just in case you had forgotten, this is what a real pumpkin looks like.

Bavarian Martin Reiss planted the pumpkin at the end of April and harvested it in September when it was 88 days old.  This pumpkin set a new European record for pumpkins.

Please send us your favourite Halloween Jokes

See more Halloween jokes and pumpkin Jokes

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