Will and Guy's - Funny Computer Jokes
Will and Guy's - Funny Computer Jokes
'Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.' Andy Rooney
You try to enter your password on the microwave.
You email your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he emails you back, 'What's for dinner dad?'
Your daughter sets up a web site to sell Girl Scout Cookies.
You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
George landed his first computer programming position and he was thrilled. His father, Colin, although a stranger to the field, shared George's enthusiasm and welcomed him at the door when he arrived home after his first day, inquiring, 'What did you do at work today?'
He listened intently while George explained in great detail his eight hours of COBOL, binary code and JCL errors.
When George arrived home the following night, once again his father, Colin, was waiting at the front door. 'So,' he greeted George, 'what did you have for lunch today?'
Back when I worked as a PC technician I had a client who gave us his computer to fix because it was riddled with malware. One of the standard things we do is clean the cache, empty the recycle bin, scan for and remove viruses.
When we gave him his computer back he freaked out on us demanding to know what we did with his most sensitive files. We told him we didn't delete any personal files and he told us we did. Apparently he kept his most important documents in the recycle bin?!
We tried to explain what the recycle bin was actually for and he just didn't want to listen and didn't care or know to care. That was his sensitive file folder.
These are sneaky computer jokes that techies with too much time on their hands play on their co-workers, typically on April Fool's Day.
The IT director advertises that he needs a secretary. Necessary skills: document forming, computer knowledge and a foreign language. After a couple of days a dog walks in.
"I'm an open minded person," the pale-turned boss stutters, "but I need someone who can form documents..."
The dog sits down behind the computer and compiles a totally decent business letter.
"Yes, but the IT-knowledge..."
The dog quickly writes a little program.
"Well, but foreign language?" the totally amazed director asks.
"Meow!" says the dog.
Ricky, a customer, visits PC Express, the computer store, 'I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging.'
'Well,' replies the shop assistant, 'Have you tried Windows Vista?'
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he replied, 'I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!'
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
While my next door neighbour, Ian, was tapping away on his home computer, his seven year old son, Nathan, sneaked up behind him.
Then Nathan turned and ran downstairs into the kitchen, bellowing to the rest of the family, 'I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!
''What is it?' Mia, his elder sister asked gently but eagerly.
Proudly Nathan shouted, 'It's asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk.'
When he was at Queen's University, Belfast, Northern Ireland, Kevin took a part time job as a computer technician dealing with most problems by telephone. One day he received a call.
The caller told Kevin that her computer was not working. She described the problem and he concluded that the computer needed to be brought in and serviced.
Kevin told her to unplug the power cord and bring it to him in the office and he would fix it.
About fifteen minutes later she showed up at Kevin's door with the power cord in her hand...
When I Was Young - A Funny Computer Poem
A computer was something on TV
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
An application was for employment
Memory was something that you lost with age
Compress was something you did to the garbage
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Cut you did with a pocket knife
Classic Computer Project
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