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Computer Jokes - Funny Busted Machine Stories

Will and Guy's Computer Jokes - Funny Busted Machine Stories

Every year there are new idiots, but it seems that this year the idiots of next year already arrived...   Alexander Strasser

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They Said I Couldn't Break It

About a year ago, Jason, the company's top computer engineer, was called out to make field service.  When he got to the lady's house and was let in, the first thing he noticed was the smell of gunpowder.  The second thing he saw was the double barrelled 12-gauge shotgun lying across her lap.  And the third thing was the big gaping hole in her computer screen. Computer Jokes.  Tech support stories

Jason looked at her. She was a little grey haired woman, around 60 or so.  Had she?   Not possible.  Still, he had to ask. Computer Jokes and funny stories

Jason: 'Did you shoot...?'

Little Old Lady: 'Yes, I got a little mad at the computer, the program would not load.  Tech Support told me that I couldn't hurt it, but I think they were wrong.

Can you salvage anything?'

Malcolm's ID 10 Service Call

Miriam was having trouble with her computer.  So Miriam called Malcolm the computer wiz-kid and asked him to come over and look at her computer. Malcolm clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

Malcolm gave Miriam a bill for a minimum service call.  As he was walking away, Miriam called after him, 'So, what was wrong?' He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' Miriam didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error?  Malcolm, what does that error mean, just in case I need to fix it again?'

Malcolm grinned, 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?'

'No,' Miriam replied.

'Write it down, 'he said, 'and Miriam think you'll figure it out.'

So Miriam wrote down...... I D 1 0 T.

¤

Ooops A Cautionary Tale of an UPS Disaster by Guy Thomas

I sometimes take on work on the basis of ' no fix - no fee' .  So I went to a company advertising for a consultant to find the bottleneck on their network.  To my delight, I got a contract.  However, when I turned up, there were long faces all round, the server room had been burnt down.

Before I abandoned the job, I thought at least they could tell me what had happened.  After a long pause, the junior techie blurted out that the UPS spilt neat acid onto a pile paper, the acid burnt the paper starting a fire.  Cardboard boxes in the room also caught fire and that in turn burnt down the server.  Well no work for me, but a moral to one and all, add: 'I must service the UPS' to your disaster recovery plan.UPS Joke, story

Footnote
Will as ever, keeps me on track.  I should explain that an UPS is like a huge battery that attaches to servers, in the event of a power cut the UPS takes over the electrical supply to the computer.

Help Is A-foot - New Computer Engineer

Computer Cat Engineer

Funny Office Thoughts

THE COMPUTER OFFICE:
A place where you can relax
after your strenuous home life.

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks computing,
nobody listens and everybody disagrees later.

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting information
from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students
without passing through the minds of either

YOUR BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late
and late when you are early.

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing an office in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Two Heads Better Than One?

Sardar Computer Joke

 

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