°

Etch-A-Sketch - New Computer Gismo

Computer Stories sent in by Alan Turnham

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.   EW Dijkstra

 Sponsored Links
 ∇

New Computer Gismo

Memo: From the Chief Executive

To: All Staff

Since our IT expenditures have risen dramatically, the management have defined a low-cost alternative to computers. The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by Sept 2006.

Instead everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this:

1. No boot-up problems

2. No technical glitches keeping work from being done.

3. No more wasted time reading and writing emails.

4. No more worries about power cuts.

Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same colour?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.

¤¤

Word For Blondes

Word For Blondes

A Storage Device from the Makers of the Etch-a-Sketch PC Funny Story Book

The new Built-in Orderly Organised Knowledge device ('BOOK' ) (fwd)

The BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its protective cover! Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere - even sitting in an armchair by the fire - yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk.

Here's how it works... Each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs in half.

 Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now BOOKs with more information simply use more pages. this make them thicker and harder to carry, and has drawn some criticism from the mobile computing crowd. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. Funny Story Book Worm

The BOOK never crashes and never needs rebooting, though like other display devices it can become unusable if dropped overboard. The 'browse' feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an ' index' feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval. An optional 'BOOKmark' accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session - even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous bookmarkers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of sheets in the BOOK.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with an optional programming tool, the Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS). Portable, durable, and affordable, the BOOK is being hailed as the educational and entertainment wave of the future. The BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

¤

Guess What This Is.......??

This picture was taken in 1956... Try to guess what this is!  Clue: it has something to do with computing.

Answer below.

Old Memory Stick

It's a hard disk drive back in 1956... With 5 MB of storage.

1956 IBM launched the 305 RAMAC In September of this year, the first "SUPER" computer with a hard disk drive (HDD).  The HDD weighed over a ton and stored a "whopping" 5 MB of data.

Do you appreciate your 16 GB memory stick a little more now?  A smart phone has 16 gigs of memory!! 

P.S. It would take 3200 of these units
to equal the capacity of that little 16-Gig stick plugged into the side of your PC.

Can Anyone Help with Desktop Publishing?

Funny desktop publishing

If you like this page then please share it with your friends

 


See more short computer jokes, clean videos and funny pictures

Short computer jokes   • Windows 8 jokes   • Idiot   • Funny computing career   • Computer gender

Funny computer jokes   • Windows 7 jokes   • Funny computer virus   • Windows   • Computer coffee

Computer Home  • Computer husband   • Funny keyboard pictures   • Computer one-liners   • Home