Funny Santa Banta Jokes

Funny Santa Banta Jokes in English Funny Santa Banta Jokes in English

Santa and Banta are two Sardarji's who are good friends.  Most of time each of them tries to outsmart the other and this creates humour.  Most of their conversations are funny and are called Santa Banta jokes.

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Santa and the Clock

Santa is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Santa says agrees.

'Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder.' The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Santa figures he has been made a fool by that man.

On the next day Santa is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. 'Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder.'

Santa gives him another thousand and says, 'Oye, I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder.'

Santa and The Lottery Ticket

Banta finds himself in considerable trouble. His business has gone bust and he has serious financial concerns. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray:
'Oh God, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto.'

Lotto night arrives and somebody else wins it.

Banta goes back to the temple, 'God, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.'

Lotto night comes and Banta still has no luck!! Back to the temple he goes.

'God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order?'

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and the Banta is confronted by the voice of the Lord, 'OYE BANTA, YOU HAVE TO BUY THE TICKET FIRST.'

Santa Visits a Bar

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Santa goes into a bar in New York.

The man on his right orders a drink, 'Johnnie Walker, single.'

The man on his left says, 'Jack Daniels, single.'

Santa says. 'Santa Singh, married.'

Santa and the Wedding

Santa and Jeeto were preparing wedding cards for their son at the printers.

Jeeto was not very good at English so she asked the printer to help her. After the printer had presented her with a draft, she quickly pointed out that the "RSVP " was missing .

The printer was surprised by Jeeto's knowledge and asked her if she knew what it meant.

Jeeto started to think and after much thought he replied, 'Vait! I remember. I remember - RSVP.  It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present."'

See more Inglish jokes

Santa Buys Curtains Curtains for Windows Computer

Santa enters a shop that sell curtains. He announces to Gurdaya, the salesman, 'I would like to buy a pair of green curtains.'

The salesman assures him that they had a large selection of green curtains. Gurdaya shows him several patterns, but Santa seems to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally, he selects a smashing green floral print. The salesman asked what size curtains he requires.

Santa replies, 'Fifteen inches.'

'Fifteen inches? ' explodes Gurdaya. 'That sounds a very small amount, what room are they for?'

Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.

Gurdaya, an extremely surprised salesman replies, 'But, sir, computers do not have curtains!"'

Santa says, 'Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows.'

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More Funny Santa Banta Gags in English

Santa Buys A Hearing Aid

Santa, hard of hearing, realises that he needs to buy a hearing aid, but he feels unwilling to spend too much money.

'How much do they cost?' he asks Manbir, the shopkeeper.

'That depends,' says. Manbir, 'They run from £20 to £2,000.'

'Let's see the £20 model,' asks Santa.

Manbir puts the device around Santa's neck instructing, 'You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket.'

'How does it work?' Santa inquires.

'For only £20 it doesn't work," Manbir replies, 'But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!'

Santa Has A Funny DreamFunny Santa Banta Jokes

Santa kept having the same strange dream every night, so he made an appointment to see a doctor.

Doctor Ajaib: What was your dream about?
Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!

Doctor Ajaib: [smiling to himself] So... what is the scenery like?
Santa: I was running in a hall way.

Doctor Ajaib: Then what happened?
Santa: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!

Doctor Ajaib: Does the door have anything written on it?
Santa: Yes it does.

Doctor: And what do these letters say?
Santa: It says, "Pull."

Santa Goes To School

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Santa returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father, 'Dad, today we had a spelling class. All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am a Sardar?'
'No son, that's because you are intelligent.'

Santa seemed content with the answer, asks his father another question, 'Dad, today we had Maths class. All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am a Sardar ?'
'No son, that's because you are intelligent,' replies his father.

Happy with the answer, Santa poses another question to his father, 'Dad, today we had medical examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am a Sardar ?'
The father replies, 'No son, that's because you are 33 years old.'

 

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