New Year - Key Questions
One swallow doesn't make a summer, but it breaks a New Year's
How to Tell That You have Entered a New Year:
- You enter your password on the microwave.
- You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
- You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of four.
- You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He 'phones you back from his bedroom, 'What's for dinner?'
- You chat
several times a day with a stranger from Canada, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbour all last year.
- Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records your college roommate used to
- You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
- Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so
she can create a screen saver.
- You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
- Every commercial on television has a website address at the bottom of the
- You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
- The concept of using real money instead of credit or debit to make a purchase is foreign
- Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
- Your idea of being organised is multi-coloured Post-it notes.
- You hear most of your jokes
via e-mail instead of in person.
- You're reading this.
Wise Words to Start the New Year
- The early worm gets eaten!
- There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots
to do and not doing it.
- Never argue with a fool, people may not know the difference.
- Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
- You can't skip and be unhappy at the same time.
- I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy
New Year Quotes
Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve.
Old age is when you're forced to.
Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and
let each New Year find you a better man. Benjamin Franklin
I'm a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but
still none the wiser.
See more New Year quotes
New Year Humour - Topics
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