Funny Christmas Pictures, Jokes, Videos and Stories
Christmas Humour - Funny Images, Jokes, Videos and Stories
This page is a mini sitemap for Will and Guy's Christmas Humour. Enjoy our jokes, riddles, videos and funny Christmas pictures for the festive season.
Funny Christmas Pictures
'Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell.'
Funny Christmas Stories
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten, and his present remembered.
Stages of Christmas
When you consider Christmas, there are four stages in your life:-
23 people have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
39 people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and an Honest Lawyer
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.
Another Funny Christmas Picture - Santa Claus Sledge Needs a Tow
Santa Claus' sledge broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, 'Can you help me fix my sledge, please?'
'Sorry,' the motorist replied, 'I'm not a mechanic - I'm a podiatrist.'
'In that case,' retorted Santa, 'Can you give me a tow?'..........[toe]
Xmas Humour - Cracker Riddle
What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?
Christmas called in England?
School Nativity - Urban Myth
The boy who was playing the Inn Keeper was fed up of his insignificant role, so when Joseph knocked and asked if there was any room in the inn. Instead of saying 'No' as he was supposed to, the young prima donna said, 'Come in Joseph and Mary, there is plenty of room in my inn.'
One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked by his tribal elders if the winter of 2010/11 was going to be cold or mild. The chief asked his medicine man, but he too had lost touch with the reading signs from the natural world around the Great Lakes.
'Yes, it is going to be a cold winter,' the meteorological officer told the chief. Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told the men to collect plenty of firewood.
A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service and asked for an update. 'Are you still forecasting a cold winter?' he asked.
'Yes, very cold', the weather officer told him.
As a result of this brief conversation the chief went back to the tribe and told his people to collect every bit of wood they could find.
A month later the chief called the National Weather Service once more and asked about the coming winter. 'Yes,' he was told, 'it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'
'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.
The weatherman replied: 'Because the Native Americans of the Great Lakes are collecting wood like crazy.'
Bambi Meets Snowman
Pastor Tony is walking down the street on Christmas eve when he notices a Larry, a small boy, trying to press the doorbell of a house across the street. However, Larry is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, Pastor Tony moves closer to Larry's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to Larry's level, Pastor Tony smiles benevolently and asks, 'And now what, my little man?'
To which Larry replies with a beaming grin,
See our collection of Christmas lights videos
Christmas 1940 - A Christmas Under German Blitz
Christmas trees were not a high priority for townspeople because they spent so much time in their air-raid shelters, which were too cramped for a modern sized Christmas tree.
Effects of Rationing
The government also gave extra sugar rations for the Women's Institutes to convert autumn fruits into jams and other preserves. As for all those goodies that Britain now imports from Europe, French cheese, Spanish wine - forget it - the German U-Boat blockade in 1940 meant no luxuries.
How to Say "Merry Christmas" in 75 Other Languages
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