Funny Christmas Dog Pictures and Stories
Funny Christmas Dog Pictures and Stories
Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how dogs look with fake antlers. Crazy.
The Christmas Tree:
A dog's New Year's Resolution:
A Dog's Christmas Promises
More Frustration: Have You Got a Bottle Opener?
A Rescue Dog's Christmas Poem
Based on the epithet that: "A dog is not just for Christmas".
night before Christmas and all through the town,
But now we sit here and think of the days...
We "jump on the children", "don't come when they call",
We were left in the backyard, or worse - let to roam -
The kind workers come through with a meal and a pat,
Then we wake to see sad eyes, brimming with tears -
Please make a donation to pay for the heat...
According to a survey, 6½ out of 10 British dogs get Christmas gifts from their doting owners.
(The above dog looks like that half!)
Irish Terrier - Fretting About Christmas
Indeterminate* Terrier - Not Fretting
* Sandy says this breed of this funny Christmas dog is a Yorkie.
Christmas dog picture kindly sent by Joy Scudder.
The Tale of the Traditional Christmas Pudding
Martha decided to move with the times and try the delights of microwave cooking. Whereupon, her devoted husband Archie went out and bought her a brand new top-of-the range Sharp Microwave oven.
Christmas approached and Martha got out her Christmas pudding recipe and assembled the ingredients. She proceeded along traditional lines and even got the each member of the family to stir the mixture 'for luck'. When Martha consulted the microwave's manual for the cooking time, she could not believe that ten minutes would be enough for a traditional Christmas pudding. Consequently she decided to substitute her normal cooking time of 50 minutes.
As Martha was in the lounge watching her favourite T.V. programme she did not see the pudding spitting in the microwave oven, nor did she hear the mini-explosions. When she finally extracted the pudding from the microwave after nearly an hour of cooking on 'High', it smelt of burnt sugar and looked like a ball of tar. Naturally, the Christmas pudding was a disaster, so much so, that Martha could not even prod it with a fork. In fact the black ball stuck to the bottom of the bowl and Archie had to get a screwdriver to prize it from its base.
In a fit of pique, Martha threw the shrivelled Christmas pudding to Togo her St Bernard puppy. After a few days she could see the funny side, and Togo loved his new indestructible toy, which amused him until the next Christmas.
More Funny Christmas Dog Pictures and Stories
A company called Wagg Foods in Yorkshire, England have developed a doggy treat made from frozen yoghurt, Panting Peanut Mutter, Oaty Pawfection and Chase Your Tail Cheesecake. And hidden in the ice cream are dog biscuits.
Tonight's my first night as a watchdog and here it is Christmas Eve The children are sleeping all cosy upstairs, While I'm guarding the stockings and tree.
What's that now? Footsteps on the rooftop? Could it be a cat or mouse? Who's this down the chimney? A thief with a beard and a big sack for robbing the house?
I'm barking, I'm growling, I'm biting his rear. He howls and jumps back in his sleigh. I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air. I've frightened the whole bunch away!
Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again. The stockings are safe as can be. Won't the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrow and see how I've guarded the tree?
Written by Shel Silverstein
A True Christmas Dog Story
Home alone one Christmas, a Maine woman was in the doghouse when she called the "Butterball Turkey Talk-Line".
Apparently found Will and Guy, while preparing the turkey, her Chihuahua jumped into the bird's body cavity and couldn't get out. She tried pulling the dog and shaking the bird, but nothing worked. She and the dog became more and more distraught.
After calming the woman down, the Talk-Line home economist suggested carefully cutting the opening in the cavity of the turkey wider.
Funny Dog Story
Poor Pole in the Dog House After Christmas
Zdzislaw Bukarowcz, a seventy-five year old Polish man from Scinawa, lived in a dog's kennel for three weeks just after Christmas. It was all the work of his zona*, Mrs Bukarowcz, her reason for dishing out this punishment was because Zdzislaw repeatedly came home drunk.
She chained him to the kennel and fed him on dog food; Zdzislaw was given water from a dog bowl. At night the temperatures often dropped to minus 20 degrees Celsius.
Pani Bukarowcz told reporters that she was sick of him wasting all their money on vodka. His drinking companions, worried by his non-attendance in the pub, eventually freed him from his imprisonment in the dog house and called the police.
* Zona is Polish for wife. Pani means Mrs in Polish. (We don't know the Polish for 'Dog house')
After Calendar Girls, we now have funny pictures of calendar dogs. Dan and Alejandra Boris have used computer graphics to create a Yoga Dogs Calendar.
At first Guy thought that Yoga Dogs were a new breed, while Will thought this was a wacky new piece of merchandise designed for kennels. The truth is this a Christmas present for dog owners.
Alejandra, who is a yoga teacher, reassures readers that no dogs were hurt in making the calendars, the funny but unnatural positions were down to computer manipulation of genuine pictures.
It's the day before Christmas
The wreath which had merrily
The stockings that hung
The tree was subjected
I catch them and hold them.
And now as I watch them
Should children and puppies
Could they bring the message
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