Where's the Christmas Turkey?

Will and Guy's Funny Christmas Turkey Pictures and Stories

Why did the turkey cross the road?  Because he wasn't chicken.

• Where's the Christmas Turkey?
• Six Legged Turkey
• Christmas Turkey
• Benjamin says grace
• Giant Turkey Spared
• The Turkey - A most difficult bird to cook.

1) Where's the Christmas Turkey?

I know the wife bought a turkey.  But where on earth did she put the bird?

Perhaps the question should be - 'Who is the Christmas Turkey?'

Whilst this funny Christmas turkey picture works if you put either the 'Christmas' or 'Thanksgiving' in the caption; it is not nearly so funny if you substitute 'chicken' for 'turkey'.

2) Six Legged Turkey

An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. 'Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!' They all asked the farmer how it tasted.

'I don't know, 'said the farmer, 'I never could catch it!'

3) Christmas Turkey

It was Christmas Eve in Tesco and a woman was anxiously searching through the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.

In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said,  'Excuse me, do these turkeys get any bigger?'

'No, mam, 'he replied, 'they're all dead.'

4) Benjamin, a four-year-old lad was asked to say 'grace' before Christmas lunch

The whole family bowed their heads in preparation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mummy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grannie, Grampy, and all his aunts and uncles. Benjamin then began to thank God for the food.

He gave thanks for the turkey, the chipolatas, the cranberry sauce, the bread sauce, the Christmas pudding, the Yule log, the roast potatoes and even the brandy butter. Benjamin paused, and everyone waited .....and waited.

After a long silence, he looked up at his mother and asked, 'If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won't he know that I'm lying?'

5) Giant Turkey Spared

A giant turkey has been spared from the Christmas dinner table after winning a national competition.
The bird, called Terence, will spend his life as a breeding stag [tom in the USA] after being rated as the best bronze turkey in the country by the Poultry Club of Great Britain. The three-year-old bird, which weighs 16kg (35lb), is also something of a celebrity after moving from its owner's farm in South Devon to the nearby Woodlands Leisure Park, where he is one of the star attractions.

6) The Turkey - A most difficult bird to cook

Martha was away from home on Christmas Day for the first time and she was missing her home and family desperately. Martha decided to cook a turkey herself, just like her Mum used to, so that she could feel closer to her family.

Martha returned home for the New Year celebrations and recounted her experience to her Mum saying, 'Mum. it was so difficult to eat the turkey.'

'Why was that, dear' asked Mum in a concerned way, 'was it not cooked properly?'

'How would I know?' responded Martha, 'it wouldn't sit still.'

See another Funny Christmas Turkey Picture

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